appears that one accused the other of being "no murderer."

* * *

_The Commercial Bribery and Tipping Review_, a new American publication,
offers a prize of four pounds for the best article on "Why I believe
barbers should not be tipped." The barbers claim that what they receive is
not a tip, but the Price of Silence.

* * *

According to an evening paper, crowds can be seen in London every day
waiting to go into the pit. Oh, if only they were miners!

* * *

"It is the last whisky at night which always overcomes me," said a
defendant at the Guildhall. "A good plan," says a correspondent, "is to
finish with the last whisky but one."

* * *

The British Admiralty are offering two hundred and fifty war vessels for
sale. This is just the chance for people who contemplate setting up in
business as a new country.

* * *

"A good tailor," says a fashion writer, "can always give his customer a
good fit if he tries." All he has to do, of course, is to send the bill in.

* * *

Mr. ALLDAY, a resident in Lundy Island for twenty years, who has just
arrived in London, states that he has never seen a tax-collector. There is
some talk of starting a fund with the object of presenting him with one.

* * *

Dunmow workhouse is offered for sale. A great many people are anxious to
buy it with the object of putting it aside for a rainy day.

* * *

A Houndsditch firm has just had a telephone installed which was ordered six
years ago. This, however, is not a record. Quite a number of instruments
have been fitted up in less time than this.

* * *

We understand that the thunderbolt which fell at Chester is not the one
that the PREMIER intended to drop this month.

* * *

Signor CAPRONI, lecturing in New York, says that aeroplanes capable of
carrying five hundred passengers will shortly be constructed. We can only
say that anybody can have our seat.

* * *

Since _The Daily Express_ tirade against the officials of the Zoo visitors
are requested not to go too near the Fellows.

* * *

"The French army," says the _Berliner Tageblatt_, "will soon be all over."
It does not say what; but if our late enemy continues the violation of the
Peace Treaty the missing word should be "Germany."

* * *

Birds, says _The Times_, are nesting in the plane-trees of Printing House
Square. Some of the fledglings, we are informed, are al