ation, and sentation what elections were like in the the
business of auctioneer."

_North-Country Paper._

Portions of the paragraph are not too clear, but we should say there was no
doubt about the jollification.

* * * * *

[Illustration: STAGE AMENITIES.

"HELLO, CISSIE! SO YOU'RE ASSISTING AT DAISY DARLINT'S BENEFIT TOO?"

"YES--THE CAT!"]

* * * * *

CHIPPO'S SCENARIO.

(_With the British Army in France._)

It was the Societe Grand Guignol de Cinema's busy day. On the beach at
Petiteville cameras were rattling away like machine guns, orders from the
producer were hissing through the air with the vicious hum of explosive
bullets, and weary supers were marching and counter-marching in a state of
hopeless apathy.

At the very height of these operations Chippo Munks wandered into the
camera barrage and got firmly entangled in the picture. As "crowd in
background" was indicated by the scenario, the producer refrained from
killing Chippo out of hand--in fact he invited his co-operation for another
crowd a little later on. Thus it was that Chippo earned the right to
describe himself as a "fillum actor," with licence to speak familiarly of
his colleagues, CHARLES CHAPLIN and MARY PICKFORD, and full powers to pose
as the ultimate authority of the camp whenever cinemas were mentioned.

At the Cafe des Promeneurs it was generally assumed that Chippo was merely
waiting for a fat contract from the Societe Grand Guignol, and pending its
arrival he explained that he was constructing a suitable scenario.

"The public," he said, "is fed up with Texas rancheros in Anzac 'ats and
antimacassar trousers playing poker dice with one 'and and keeping a
sustained burst of rapid fire against their opponents with the other. They
wants something true to life. Now, my fillum opens at the Cafe de l'Avenir,
where a stout old British soldier runs a Crown an' Anchor board at personal
loss, but 'appy in the knowledge that 'e is amusing his comrades."

"The same answering to the name of Chippo Munks?" interjected Chris Jones.

"The name on the programme is _Reginald Denvers_," said Chippo firmly.
"Acrost the way, at the Cafe de la Vache Noire, a drunken unprincipled
gambler named _Jim Blaney_--which you will also reckernise is an
alias--regularly pockets the pay of 'is fellow-soldiers under pretence of a
square deal at banker an' pontoon. One night, 'aving sucke