contain what might be said on
Their contributions to the recent Armageddon.

What wonder if the Editor forsakes
The conduct of _The Times'_ financial pages?
An even weightier task he undertakes
Than to report on bullion; he engages
To let us know, by 1922,
All things (or more) that anybody ever knew.

Why should he care if Oil-cakes fall or jump?
He has the Total Universe for oyster;
Yankees may yield a point or Rubbers slump,
Yet not for such things shall his eye grow moister,
Save when, by force of habit, he admits
"A heavy tendency to-day in Ency. Brits."

Could but _The Times_ revive its ancient part,
Repeat its famous turn of dollar-scooping!
O memories of the urgent boomster's art,
And that persistent noise of HOOPER whooping,
Down to the Last Chance and the Closing Door,
And then the Absolutely Last, and then some more!

Those shrill appeals to get the Work TO-DAY
(With the superb revolving fumed-oak garage)--
How well they followed up their fearful prey
Till the massed thunders of the final barrage
Such pressure on your tympanum would bring
That you could bear no more, and _had_ to buy the thing.

O. S.

* * * * *

The Giant's Robe--Cheap.

"FOR SALE.--Superior Dress Suit, 37 chest, City made, silk facings and
lining, worn twice, no further use, suitable for individual 7 ft. 8
in. Price 4 guineas."--_Local Paper._

* * * * *

"PAYING GUESTS WANTED--From 1st June, married couple with no children;
also at once, single married lady or gentleman for three single rooms
or one single married couple."--_Indian Paper._

To be in keeping with the inhabitants the house, no doubt, is
"semi-detached."

* * * * *

"250 WORDS. TWO GUINEAS.
THE YOUNG WIFE'S ALLOWANCE."

_Daily Paper._

The young husband who tries to get off for two guineas will find that the
young wife regards two hundred and fifty words as entirely inadequate.

* * * * *

OUR SUPER-PILGRIM'S PROGRESS.

The meagre and tantalizing report of Lord Northsquith's great journey
through Spain and North Africa which has been issued through Reuter's
agency has stimulated but not allayed curiosity. It is therefore with
unfeigned pleasure that we are able to supplement this jejune