I ride--
I have left the bike outside.

* * * * *

Little Mrs. Horne is sitting
In the neat back-parlour, knitting.
Mr. Horne, who hears the din
Which I make in coming in,
Leaves the shop and says to her:
"Martha, here's a customer.
From the sound of clinking metal
I should judge he wants a kettle."

Mrs. H. shows some surprise
At the sight that greets her eyes,
And, in answer to her shout,
Mr. H. comes running out.

* * * * *

Now, it's something of a strain
On the busy human brain
Passing through a window-pane
To decide what it will do
When at last it's safely through.
As I gaze around I find--
Horror! why, I must be blind!
Blind or dead, I don't know which--
All about is black as pitch;
Thick the atmosphere as well
With a dank metallic smell....

Guessing that I am not dead
I attempt to loose my head
From a kettle's cold embrace;
And, meanwhile, to save my face
(Finding I can't get it out),
Say politely--up the spout--
"Lovely morning, is it not, Horne?
Think I'll take this little lot, Horne;
It is such a perfect fit,
And I'm so attached to it
That I find I cannot bring
My own head to leave the thing.
So you will oblige me greatly
If you'll pack them separately."

* * * * *

The Housing Stringency.

"House for Sale 12 ft. by 1 ft., suitable for
bed-sitting-room."--_Provincial Paper._

* * * * *

Commercial Candour.

"We claim that we can do you anything in our line as well, or perhaps
a little bit less than you will get it at many other places."

_Advt. in Local Paper._

* * * * *

"ALLEGED WALLET-SNATCHER TAKES TWO OMNIBUSES."

_Evening News._

No wonder there is a shortage in London travelling facilities.

* * * * *

THE WORD-BUILDERS;

A SHORTAGE OF STRAW.

Aitchkin has been doing great things in forage, but prosperity has not
spoilt him. Although he must be aware that I remember him in pre-war days,
when he used to strap-hang to the City with his lunch in a satchel,
nevertheless he often invites me round on those rare occasions when he
dines quietly at home.

The other evening, as he toyed with a modest eight-course dinner, I
perceived that his cheerfulness was a trifle for