* * * *

TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE.

"The able organisation which resulted in Hell being evacuated
with just as complete success and the same absence of loss as at
Suvla and Anzac, relieves what might otherwise be the rather
melancholy spectacle of the winding up of this enterprise."

_Morning Paper._

* * * * *

From an article by Mr. JOHN LAYLAND on his visit to the Fleet:--

"One would like to describe much more than one has seen, but
that is impossible."--_Morning Paper._

Some other Correspondents have found no such difficulty.

* * * * *

"Lady Secretary Required, for about two hours early every
morning, by lady doctor living near the Marble Arch; rapid
shorthand essential; preference given to a possessor of healthy
teeth."

_Advt. in "The Times."_

It looks as if the lady-secretary's luncheon would be a tough
proposition.

* * * * *

"Our Correspondent endorses the Russian official claim to have
captured the heights north-east of Czernowitz."--_Morning
Paper._

The Correspondent's condescension is no doubt greatly appreciated by our
Allies.

* * * * *

Answer to a correspondent:--

"'Enquirer.'--It is pronounced 'communeek.'"--_"Examiner,"
Launceston, Tasmania._

But not in the best circles.

* * * * *

MODERNISING LAST YEAR'S SKIRT.

Another simple and practical way of doing it would be, if the
skirt is quite plain, to lift it well from the top, and set it
neatly on to a band, so making the skirt shorter as well as
fuller. Eight inches is not considered too short for present
wear, though personally I think six inches a more graceful
length. However, do not be tempted to wear a very short skirt
unless you are the possessor of well-shaped feet and
ankles.--_The Woman's Magazine_.

But what about knees?

* * * * *

A Babu's letter of excuse:--

"Sir,--As my wife's temper is not well since last night, on
account of that I am unable to attend office to-day. Kindly
excuse my absence and grant me one day's causual leave."

In the circumstances Caudle leave would have been a happier form of
holiday.

* * * * *

HOW TO GET UP A HOLY WAR

(Germ