miss several beats. Then all at once we leaps into the air, gives a yell
fit to make any German wish he'd never been born, and falls into their
trench, doing bainet drill like it would have done your heart good to
see. But we stops it as quick as we begun, because there wasn't a single
man in that trench. Not one, Sir.

"After a awkward pause, 'The birds have flown,' says our Sub., sorrowful
like, as if he'd asked some friends to dinner and the cat had eat the
meat.

"'I think, Sir,' says Sergeant, 'that they've abandoned this trench as
being untenable, and probably left a few mines behind for us.' I didn't
like that. I thought our trench was a much nicer trench in every way,
and I felt it was time to think of going back, when suddenly we hears a
norrible yell come up from our trench and sounds of blokes jumping
about. Yes, Sir, the Germans had made an attack on our trench at the
same time, only they had gone round by the other flank, where there was
some trees to help them.

"So there they was in our trench, and we in theirs, and dawn just
beginning to break. There was only one thing to do. We went back, hoping
they would wait for us; but they hopped it quick, same way as they come,
and so we finished up just as we was when we started, except for mud.
Our Sub. was wild with rage, and he hustled about all the morning
looking for defaulters, his face as black as the Kayser's soul; and he
even went so far as to curse a Machine Gun Section, which shows you
better than words what he felt like. D Company, when they come to
relieve us, wouldn't believe a word of it, not till I told them. They
had to then, because they knew what my name was. James, Sir, and
Truthful as a sort of appendix."

"And there were others, of course, to corroborate your story?"

"To what, Sir?"

"To swear to the truth of it?"

"Oh yes. They swore to it all right. Again and again. But that was
nothing to what happened in the same trench when we come back from
billets. It was like this here. Our Sub.... What's that you say, Bill?"
He broke off. "Time for visitors to leave?"

The Orderly explained that it was so, and, after a cordial leave-taking
on the part of the visitor, saw him out and returned.

"Do you know who that was, Jim?" he asked.

"Soon as he started pumping me," replied James, "I offered myself a
hundred quid to a bob on his being a noospaper man, but there was no
taker at the price, bobs being scarce and me having a dead cert. S