d be a chocolate for each of them at the end. In addition
Frederick was told that if he felt he really couldn't stand any more of
it he was to leave the room very quietly, and that this wouldn't
interfere with the chocolate. Thereupon the lecture started. At the end
of the seventh minute Frederick rose, bent his body double and tiptoed
out of the room. He was a great loss, for, as Muriel remarked
afterwards, he represented two hundred of the audience of a thousand.
The rest, however, stuck it out heroically, and danced for joy when it
came to an end in one hour exactly. Frederick was afterwards discovered
writing poetry on his own account in the school-room. As an illustration
of the far-reaching influence of a lecture I may cite two of his
stanzas:--

Summer is coming,
Then the bees will be humming,
Birds will be flying,
And girls will be buying,
And boys will be running;
Oh, hail! Summer is coming.

Summer is coming,
Then the fox will be cunning,
And all will be glad,
And none will be sad,
And I hope none will be mad,
And I hope none will be bad;
Oh, hail! Summer is coming!

This may be premature and, as to the fox, incorrect, since he requires
but little cunning in the summer; but there is a good BROWNING flavour
about it which redeems all errors.

R. C. L.

* * * * *

COMMERCIAL CANDOUR.

"There are large stocks of Tailor Costumes Ready-to-Wear, in the
old reliable materials. These cannot last long."--_Provincial
Paper._

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Porter._ "Luggage, Sir?"

_Absent-minded Old Gentleman._ "No, thank you. I have some."]

* * * * *

OUR BOOKING-OFFICE.

(_By Mr. Punch's Staff of Learned Clerks._)

Not once or twice have I paid tribute to the craftsmanship of Mr. NEIL
LYONS, generally as a portrayer of mean urban streets and their
inhabitants. His latest volume, however, _Moby Lane and Thereabouts_
(LANE), finds him at large in the Sussex countryside. But the old skill
and quick-witted charm serve him equally in these different
surroundings. Mr. LYONS, as I have noticed before, achieves his
ingenious effects not only by the quaint unexpected things he says but
equally by the things that he skilfully omits to say. As an example of
the second method I might cite one of the best of the sketches in the
book, that called "