heard there was half
a million as had to be given their shtars! An' I needn't be afther
tellin' ye, Mrs. Flanagan, that even with all the millions of Irish out
there, there wouldn't be room for five hundred thousand officers to lead
thim. Besides which every wan knows that the Irish don't want leadin'.
'Tis thim shows the way whin it comes to a charrge. An' sure, as it is,
all the Ginirals, exceptin' for an odd wan or two, bees Irish!"

"Is that you, Biddy? Will yez come in out of that now?"

"Och, that's Himself now. He must be betther! Good-day to yez, Mrs.
Flanagan, and many thanks to ye."

* * * * *

CAUSE AND EFFECT.

"Peace Speakers pelted with Ochre.

The speakers on the platform had a curried
consultation."--_Provincial Paper._

* * * * *

"One may say of Kitchener's Army (at any rate of the rank and
file I have acquaintance with here in Gaul) that it _est omnia
in duo partes divisa_ (with apologies to Caesar)."

_Morning Paper._

CAESAR'S commentary on this would be worth reading.

* * * * *

TRUTHFUL JAMES.

The Staff of _The Muddleton Weekly Gazette_, having disguised himself as
an ordinary citizen, entered the local hospital in quest of copy. His
keen eye immediately singled out a man of solemn, careworn aspect, and
to him he directed his footsteps. Two clear grey eyes looked into his,
and his greeting was answered politely, though without enthusiasm. Then,
exerting all the skill and adroitness which had marked him out for forty
years as a coming man in the journalistic world, the visitor put the
soldier gradually at his ease and tactfully induced him to recount his
experiences.

"I could tell you lots of things what would astonish you, Sir," began
the convalescent. "Six months in the trenches gives you plenty of time
to pick up tales--and invent them, too; but I don't hold with that. A
little exaggeration helps things along, as old Wolff says, but when he
goes beyond I'm not with him. No lies--not for Truthful James. That's
me, Sir. They call me that in B Company; James being the name what my
godfathers and godmothers give me, and Truthful being as you might say
an identification mark."

The other nodded and waited in silence.

"Nothing much happened to me for the first three months, but then we was
moved further South and a new Sub. joined us. Name of Williamson. Do