gle-winged machine,
What see you where aloft you roam?"
"Eastward, _Die Schlossen von Berlin_,
And West, the good white cliffs of home!"

* * * * *

JOURNALISTIC CANDOUR.

Heading to the Stop-Press column of a Provincial Paper:--

"LATEST RAW NEWS."

* * * * *

"Motorcycle. Give L25 (maximum) and exquisite diamond ring
(engagement broken off)."--_Motor Cycling_.

No sidecar required.

* * * * *

"Maeterlinck, the great Austrian statesman, looked with
suspicion on all kinds of suggestions of reform or agitation."

_Provincial Paper._

So unlike METTERNICH, the famous Belgian bee-farmer.

* * * * *

"Young Baby--Wanted, homely woman to take charge of duration of
war."

_Wood Green Sentinel._

If she will only finish it satisfactorily--the War, we mean, not the
baby--we don't mind how homely she is.

* * * * *

Under the heading of "Horses, Harness, &c.":--

"Offer, cheap--Horse Chestnuts, 6 to 8 feet; Scotch, 2 to 3
feet; Spruce, about 2 feet; also Privet, Lilacs, Laurels, etc."

_Irish Times._

We are quite glad to see this old joke in harness again.

* * * * *

"Tourists are permitted to carry cameras and use them as long as
they do not attempt to take fortresses."

_Russian Year Book._

These 4.7 cameras are deadly things for siege work.

* * * * *

"Quite the tit-bit of the evening was the little interlude in
the duet from 'Faust' taken by Mr. H---- as Faust and Mr. B----
P---- as Mephistopheles. 'His Satanic Majesty' sings--

"'What is your will? At once tell me.
Are you afraid?'"

_Accrington Observer._

Is this "My dear Tino" under another name?

* * * * *

THE BATTLE OF JOBEY.

January, 1916, will ever be remembered as the eventful month in which
the oldest men in England turned aside from all their other pursuits and
disregarded the state of Europe in order to take part in the Battle of
Jobey. Their battle-ground was the columns of _The Times_, and no one
was too proud or venerable to fight. Peers, bishops, deans, statesmen,
baronets, knights--all rushed in, and still no one quite knows the
result. How many Jobeys were there? we stil