p thinking that
Shakspeare, who went out of his way to prove that _Ophelia_ was one of
the original Looneys, has brought this on himself.

***

Fashionable Parisians, says a correspondent, have decided that the
correct thing this year is to be invited to Scotland for July. It may be
correct, but it won't be an easy matter if we know our Scotland.

***

American women-bathers with an inclination to embonpoint, it is stated,
have taken to painting dimples on their knees. The report that a
fashionable New Yorker who does not care for the water has created the
necessary illusion by having a lobster painted on her toe is probably
premature.

***

A Bridgewater, Somerset, man of eighty (or octogeranium) has cancelled
his wedding on the morning of the ceremony. A few more exhibitions of
that kind and he will end up by being a bachelor.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _First Indian Chief_ (_of travelling show_). "Brother
Bellowing-Papoose, which is the way back to the circus?"

_Second Ditto._ "I know not. Let us ask this paleface."]

* * * * *

There was a young lady of Beccles
Whose face was infested with freckles,
But nobody saw
Any facial flaw,
For she had an abundance of shekels.

* * * * *

THE GRASSHOPPER.

The Animal Kingdom may be divided into creatures which one can feed and
creatures which one cannot feed. Animals which one cannot feed are
nearly always unsatisfactory; and the grasshopper is no exception.
Anyone who has tried feeding a grasshopper will agree with me.

Yet he is one of the most interesting of British creatures. _The
Encyclopaedia Britannica_ is as terse and simple as ever about him.
"Grasshoppers," it says, "are specially remarkable for their saltatory
powers, due to the great development of the hind legs; and also for
their stridulation, which is not always an attribute of the male only."
To translate, grasshoppers have a habit of hopping ("saltatory powers")
and chirping ("stridulation").

It is commonly supposed that the grasshopper stridulates by rubbing his
back legs together; but this is not the case. For one thing I have tried
it myself and failed to make any kind of noise; and for another, after
exhaustive observations, I have established the fact that, though he
does move his back legs every time he stridulates, _