* * * *

"---- UNITED FREE CHURCH.

Evening--Monthly Sermon for Young Men and Women.

'Love, Courtship, and Marriage.'

Anthem--'And it shall come to pass.'"

_Scotch Paper._

The organist seems to be a sympathetic soul.

* * * * *

"The fees for Burial will in the future be doubled, in order to meet the
increased cost of present-day living."--_Parish Magazine._

At this rate we shall soon be unable to afford either to live or to die,
and must try a state of suspended animation.

* * * * *

"As Lady ---- was stepping aboard she dropped a waterproof
satchel containing a pair of the Queen's shoes, and Their
Majesties laughed heartily at her Ladyship's discomfiture. One
of the sailors adroitly recovered the satchel with the aid of a
boot-hook." _Scotch Paper_.

The handy-man! Prepared for all eventualities.

* * * * *

THE HOUSE THAT JACK WANTS BUILT.

[Illustration: This is the house that Jack wants built.]

[Illustration: This is the landowner who (if the talk of a railway
being made over this bit of land doesn't come to anything, and the
corporation cannot, after all, be induced to buy it as a
recreation-ground, and no one makes a better offer) is willing to sell
the ground to carry the house that Jack wants built.]

[Illustration: This is the architect and surveyor who (as soon as he
has finished his designs for the new Town Hall, the proposed County
Hospital, the Cathedral Extension, the Borough power station and the
drinking-fountain, and provided that no more important commission turns
up) is going to design the house to go on the ground of the landowner
who ...]

[Illustration: This is the local authority who (if he can obtain
details of the several requirements of the County Council, Parish
Council, Central Housing Authority, Ministry Of Health, Board Of
Agriculture, Ministry of Transport, Congested Districts Board, and any
other departments interested, either now in existence or contemplated
for the future) is going to inspect, revise, amend, and positively
finally approve the designs of the architect and surveyor who ...]

[Illustration: This is the building contractor who (provided that
pressure of work allows him, and that he can get the materials, which is
doubtful, and the men, which is hardly probable, and the price, wh