ter on his
burning professions, perhaps even to question the excellence of his
intentions. But his nerve was obviously shaken by his competitor's
undoubtedly fine performance, and he craked indecisively. At 4.30
a.m. I distinctly heard him utter a flat note. At 4.47 he
missed the second part of a bar entirely. Thisbe's beak, I must believe,
curled derisively; Strong-i'-th'-lung laughed contemptuously, and at
5.10 a.m. Eugene faltered, stammered and fled from the field
defeated.

The sequel I have had to build up on rather fragmentary data, but it
appears that Eugene fled as far as Pudberry Parva, and endeavoured to
cool his discomfiture in a dewy hayfield.

To him there came an old crone, the "father and mother" of all
corncrakes, who comforted him, cossetted him, and from a fund of deep
experience offered him hints on voice production. She also gave him of a
nostrum of toadwort and garlic, which mollified his lacerated chords,
and she prescribed massage of the throat by rubbing against a young
beech stem.

Within two days Eugene was back in my field. In tones that feigned to
falter he craked a few bars to open the performance. Strong-i'-th'-lung
at once rose full of pitying confidence and craked for two and a half
hours the song of the practically accepted suitor. It was a good song,
and Thisbe seemed pleased, though I fancy she rather resented the note
of assurance which he imparted to his ballad.

Then Eugene came on. Bearing well in mind all the instruction of his
recent benefactress, he commenced at 11.45 p.m. such a masterpiece as
has never before been heard in the bird world. His consistency of period
was masterly, his iteration superb and his even monotony incomparable.
Crake succeeded crake with dull regular inevitability. So far as I know
he carried his bat. He was still playing strongly when I fell on a
troubled sleep about 5.30....

The next day, walking through the field, I put up two birds which flew
away together. One was Thisbe. And the other? Well, not
Strong-i'-th'-lung. I stumbled across him a little later, dead without a
wound.

* * * * *

"Wanted Music Master for 2 girls; also Mincing
Machine."--_Local Paper._

One way or another they seem determined that the poor girls shall be
"put through it."

* * * * *

SHOULD MILLIONAIRES READ HOMER?

The recent discovery of a London millionaire, who not only lives in a
smal