. Why did Mr. Lloyd George call him a
grasshopper--a modest friendly little grasshopper? Did he mean to
suggest that Lord Northcliffe hears with his stomach or stridulates with
his back legs?

Why not an earwig, or a black-beetle, or a wood-louse, or a centipede?
There are lots of insects more offensive than the grasshopper, and
personally I would much rather be called a grasshopper than an earwig,
which gets into people's sponges and frightens them to death.

Perhaps he had been reading that nice passage in the Prophet Nahum: "Thy
captains are as the great grasshoppers, which camp in the hedges in the
cold day, but when the sun ariseth they flee away, and their place is
not known where they are." I do not know. But _The Encyclopaedia_ has a
suggestive sentence: "All grasshoppers are vegetable feeders and have an
incomplete metamorphosis, so that _their destructive powers are
continuous from the moment of emergence from the egg until death_."

A.P.H.

* * * * *

"The Mayor gave details showing how the Engineer's salary had
increased from L285 when he was appointed in 1811 to L600 at the
present time."--_Local Paper._

And think what he must have saved the ratepayers by not taking a pension
years ago.

* * * * *

"Mr. ---- thought that the whole Committee would wish to
associate themselves with the Cemeteries Sub-Committee in their
congratulations to Alderman ---- upon his marriage."--_Local
Paper._

We do not quite see why this particular sub-committee should have taken
the initiative.

* * * * *

[Illustration: EVIL COMMUNICATIONS.

The Telephone. "I'M GOING TO COST YOU MORE."

Householder. "WHY?"

The Telephone. "OH, THE USUAL REASON--INCREASING
INEFFICIENCY."]

* * * * *

[Illustration: A QUESTION OF TASTE.

_The Wife._ "You Must Get Yourself a Straw 'at, George. A bowler
don't seem to go with a camembert."]

* * * * *

AT THE PLAY.

"French Leave."

The Mandarins of the Theatre, who are no wiser than other mandarins (on
the contrary), have been long repeating the formula that the public
won't look at a War play. If I'm not mistaken it will for many moons be
looking at Captain Reginald Berkeley's _French Leave_. He
labels it a "light comedy." That's an understatement. It is, as a matter
of fact, a very skil