f making wars to
pass other people's time away.

***

"Danger of infection from Treasury notes," says _The Weekly Dispatch_,
"has been exaggerated." Whenever we see a germ on one of our notes we
pat it on the back and tell it to lie down.

***

A West Riding paper states that a postman picked up a pound Treasury
note last week. It is said that he intends to have it valued by an
expert.

***

An engineer suggests that all roads might be made of rubber. For
pedestrians who are knocked down by motor-cars the resilience of this
material would be a great boon.

***

According to _The Evening News_ a bishop was seen the other day passing
the House of Commons smoking a briar pipe. We can only suppose that he
did not recognise the House of Commons.

***

"We can find work for everybody and everything," says a Chicago journal.
But what about corkscrews?

***

How strong is the force of habit was illustrated at Liverpool Docks the
other day when two Americans, on reaching our shores, immediately
fainted, and only recovered when it was explained that spirits were not
sold here solely for medical purposes.

***

"Watches are often affected by electrical storms such as we have
experienced of late," states a science journal. Only yesterday we heard
of a plumber and his mate who arrived at a job simultaneously.

***

We sympathise with the unfortunate housewife who cannot obtain a servant
because her reference is considered unsatisfactory. It appears she was
only six weeks with her last maid.

***

A pedestrian knocked down by a taxi in Oxford Street last Tuesday
managed to regain his feet only to be again bowled over by a motor-bus.
Luckily, however, noticing a third vehicle standing by to complete the
job, the unfortunate fellow had the presence of mind to remain on the
ground.

***

According to a local paper cat-skins are worth about 51/2_d._ each. Of
course it must be plainly understood that the accuracy of this estimate
is not admitted by the cats themselves.

***

"Too much room is taken up by motor-vehicles when turning corners,"
declares a weekly journal. This is a most unfair charge against those
self-respecting motorists who negotiate all corners on the two inside
wheels only.

***

An American named J. Thomas Looney has written a book to prove that
Shakspeare was really the Earl of Oxford. We cannot hel