t seven Chafing-Dish Parties she expended her whole Stock of
pent-up Ginger and now she is just as Quiet as the rest of us.

* * * * *

MORAL: Any System is O.K. if it finally Works Out.

* * * * *

_THE ATTENUATED ATTORNEY WHO RANG IN THE ASSOCIATE COUNSEL_

Once there was a sawed-off Attorney who had studied until he was
Bleary around the Eyes and as lean as a Razor-Back. He knew the Law
from Soup to Nuts, but much learning had put him a little bit to the
Willies. And his Size was against him. He lacked Bellows.

He was an inconspicuous little Runt. When he stood up to Plead, he
came a trifle higher than the Chair. Of the 90 pounds he carried,
about 45 were Gray Matter. He had Mental Merchandise to burn but no
way of delivering it.

When there was a Rally or some other Gabfest on the Bills, the
Committee never asked him to make an Address. The Committee wanted a
Wind-Jammer who could move the Leaves on a Tree 200 feet distant. The
dried-up Lawyer could write Great Stuff that would charm a Bird out
of a Tree, but he did not have the Tubes to enable him to Spout. When
he got up to Talk, it was all he could do to hear himself. The Juries
used to go to sleep on him. He needed a Megaphone. And he had about as
much Personal Magnetism as an Undertaker's Assistant.

The Runt lost many a Case because he could not Bark at the Jury
and pound Holes in a Table. His Briefs had been greatly admired
by the Supreme Court. Also it was known that he could draw up a
copper-riveted Contract that would hold Water, but as a Pleader he
was a Pickerel.

At one time he had an Important Suit on hand, and he was Worried, for
he was opposed by a couple of living Gas Engines who could rare up and
down in front of a yap Jury for further Orders.

"I have the Law on my Side," said the Runt. "Now if I were only
Six-Feet-Two with a sole-leather Thorax, I could swing the Verdict."

While he was repining, in came a Friend of his Youth, named Jim.

This Jim was a Book-Agent. He was as big as the Side of a House. He
had a Voice that sounded as if it came up an Elevator Shaft. When he
folded his Arms and looked Solemn, he was a colossal Picture of Power
in Repose. He wore a Plug Hat and a large Black Coat. Nature intended
him for the U.S. Senate, but used up all the Material early in the Job
and failed to stock the Brain Cavity.

Jim had always been at the Foot of the Class