d investigated them and returned True Bills.
They were a little too Gamey for Presbyterian Circles, but they fitted
right in at any Function where every man takes off his Coat.

Husband began to use the Telephone, and in the course of an Hour he
had organized a Pirate Crew that would go as far as you like at any
Game from Pitch-and-Toss to Manslaughter.

For when a decent Married Man does start out to find something
different from the calm Joys of connubing in a Side Street, he is the
Village Limit.

Husband had the whole Shop to himself. He employed a Senegambian who
was a good two-handed Worker with the Corkscrew. Then he had $40 worth
of Dutch Lunch sent in from the Rathskeller and arranged the Stacks of
Reds, Whites, and Blues. He told himself that the only True Enjoyment
was found in Bachelor's Hall.

His Hickey Acquaintances came in, showing more or less Stage Fright,
as they were not accustomed to seeing Rugs and Tidies. They told him
that he had a Swell Joint. After they had been to the Tea a couple
of times they began to peel and one of them started some rowdy Work
on the Piano. Another backed into a $30 Statuette and put it out of
Business and then offered to pay for it, but the Host said it cost
only 98 cents at a Bargain Sale.

[Illustration: _Instead of Macaulay._]

At 10 P.M. the Wife, who was in Upper Seven, referred to her
Time-Table and saw Papa sitting by the Student's Lamp, reading
Macaulay. She had no way of knowing that Papa had just been strung for
a Month's Rent in a Progressive Jack Pot.

In the Morning when Papa arose and looked at the cold Welsh Rabbits
and saw the Cigar Ashes all over the Place and when he had a Taste as
if he were taking care of a Lap-Robe, the glad Bohemian Existence did
not look as Good to him as it had when lighted up the Night before.
Especially as he had got the Zoop for some 80 Buckerines.

Still, there is no one case of Remorse that is going to head off a Man
who wants to be rejuvenated. He pulled himself together on the Second
Day and resumed the Merry Clip and there was nothing doing in the
Macaulay Line. Home did not get him until the Lights had winked out
in the other Places. He would not leave the Stag Club or the German
Garden, until they began putting the Chairs on the Tables.

For the first two Weeks it was immense. In time, however, it struck
him that there was a certain Monotony in spending one's Money on the
Night Owls and showing up with the Milk