rs in his Eyes. In a Voice all choked with
Sobs he tendered his Sympathy and his Sincere Hope that all would
yet be Well. He told him it grieved him to see a Friend go under
the Rollers. It tore his Heart. It did for sure. In fact it had so
upset him that he would have to go out into the Air. So he did an
Olga Nethersole Exit with one Hand over his streaming Eyes, and the
life-long Friend sat there with Salt Water spattered all over him and
nothing in his Hand.

As soon as he had dried his Clothes he went to the Grouch and candidly
owned up that he was on the Waiting List for the Poor House unless he
could borrow enough to tide him over.

As might have been expected, the Grouch began to Roast him. He told
him that he didn't have as much Business Gumption as a Belgian Hare
and a Chump who would walk into Debt with his Eyes open deserved to
get it right in the Collar.

"If you're looking for Sympathy, you've barked up the wrong Tree,"
said the Grouch.

"I'm not," was the Reply. "I've just received enough Sympathy to last
me all Winter."

The Grouch snarled and reached for his Check Book.

"You can have whatever you need, but you don't deserve it," he said,
and he signed it, leaving it Blank above.

"In view of the Fact that you have saved my Life, I will try to
forgive you for lacerating my Feelings," said the Married Man.

They retained the Flat, but the Grouch is just as Unpopular as ever.

* * * * *

MORAL: A Friend who is very Near and Dear may in Time become as
useless as a Relative.

* * * * *

_THE REGULAR KIND OF A PLACE AND THE USUAL WAY IT TURNED OUT_

Once there was a home-like Beanery where one could tell the Day of the
Week by what was on the Table.

The Stroke Oar of this Food Bazaar had been in the Business for 20
years, and she had earned her Harp three times over. The Prune Joke
never touched her, and she had herself trained so as not to hear any
sarcastic Cracks about the Oleo. She prided herself on the Atmosphere
of Culture that permeated the Establishment, and on the Fact that
she did not harbor any Improper Characters. A good many Improper
Characters came around and sized up the Lay-Out and then blew.

It was a sure-enough Boarding-House, such as many of our Best People
know all about even if they won't tell.

The Landlady was doing what she could to discourage the Beef Trust,
but she carried a heavy line of Oat