nts decided to ship him out to the Green Fields and keep
him there until he had developed a Character. Mr. and Mrs. Tibbetts
knew that all the Men of Sterling Worth, mentioned in Political
Biographies, had been raised on the Farm. They figured that if Chub
could be left in the Country to run with the Live Stock, he would grow
up to be a Sturdy and self-reliant Character, with no hankering for
Soda Water and the Military Schottische.

Therefore Chub was sent out to live with Uncle Jabez Quackenbush, an
Agriculturalist who owned 480 Acres and was still wearing the Army
Overcoat that the Government had given him when the War broke out.
Chub slept on a Feather Tick up in a Room where they had the Seed Corn
hung on the Rafters. Uncle Jabe would yank him out at 4.30 G.M. and
keep him in the Field until the early Candle-Lighting, so that usually
he had two Meals in the Dark. On Sunday he and the Hired Help would
sit in the Hay-Mow and read Almanacs. In the Winter he attended a
District School and learned to bound Patagonia, but he did not go to
any demoralizing Shows nor learn to pick up flip Slang.

[Illustration: _Chub._]

When he was 18, he seemed to be past the Danger Period, so Uncle Jabe
took him to the Train and told the Conductor where to put him off. On
the way back to the City he bought an oval Box of Figs from the Train
Boy and lost his Hat out of the Window. When he arrived at Home and
entered the House, it sounded like a Crowd coming in. His Mother took
one Look and fell backward. There was a Neutral Zone between his Vest
and Trousers. Also he had been raising Warts on himself.

For two Months after he arrived they kept him under Cover for
fear the Neighbors would see him. He gave way at the Knees every
time he stepped. If a member of the Opposite Sex spoke to him, he
usually backed into something Breakable. At the Table he did a
Sword-Swallowing Act and drank out of the Saucer.

"We made a mistake in leaving him so long in the Tall Grass," said Mr.
Tibbetts. "But now that we have tried the two Extremes, we know just
what to do with Art. We shall send him to a small Town, where he may
associate with bright Youth of his own age and yet be away from the
distracting and corrupting Influences of the Big City."

Accordingly Art was farmed out to a Cousin residing in a drowsy
Corporation of about 1,500 Souls, figuratively speaking. He went to
the Grammar School and what he didn't learn at School he learned
in Bac