y misused and
misinterpreted and misunderstood that ridicule and contempt have been
most unjustly and unfairly thrown upon it. The true meaning of
etiquette can hardly be described in dictionary parlance; it embraces
the whole gamut of good manners, good breeding, and true politeness. One
of the reasons which have no doubt contributed to bring the word
"etiquette" into disrepute, is the manner in which the subject has been
handled by incompetent people, who, having but a very hazy and obscure
knowledge, if any knowledge at all, yet profess to write guides to
polite manners--rambling and incoherent guides, which not only provoke a
smile from those better informed, but mislead and bewilder any one rash
enough to consult them, without previous inquiry as to whether they are
safe to follow. A little caution on this head would insure the most
correct and reliable work being secured amongst so much that is
unreliable. Some people read everything that is written on the subject
of etiquette, not only those who are ignorant and wish to learn
something of its laws, but those who are thoroughly well versed in them
and who, one might suppose, had nothing to learn; still these latter
like to see what is written, to feel the satisfaction of being supported
in their own knowledge by a well-informed writer; or of finding
amusement in the absurdities gravely advanced by some one writing from
another sphere than that where _savoir vivre_ reigns. Others attach a
very narrow meaning to the word etiquette, and neither accept it nor
understand it in its true sense; they have an idea that its rules
influence and govern society in general. Rules of etiquette are from
their point of view but trammels and shackles; let them be cast off or
burst through, say they; let every one do as he likes; let all behave as
they like; we are in a free country, why should we not wipe our mouths
upon the tablecloth if we please? Others again, devour books of
etiquette on the quiet; they are very much in want of instruction as
every one knows, but they have not the courage to confess that they are
awake of this want, and are trying to pick up some knowledge of this
kind to be useful to them; as their aim is to rise in the social scale,
they would not let their friends know for worlds about this new study,
but they know it, and find that they have improved, that they do not
commit as many _gaucheries_ as heretofore; still, they have caught the
letter rather than t