efinement, though of the greatest assistance to one
unused to society, do not suffice of themselves; and although counting
for much, cannot supply the want of the actual knowledge of what is
customary in society. Where tact and innate refinement do not exist--and
this is not seldom the case, as they are gifts bestowed upon the few
rather than upon the many--then a thorough acquaintance with the social
observances in force in society becomes more than ever necessary, and
especially to those who, socially speaking, are desirous of making their
way in the world.

Those individuals who have led secluded or isolated lives, or who have
hitherto moved in other spheres than those wherein well-bred people
move, will gather all the information necessary from these pages to
render them thoroughly conversant with the manners and amenities of
society.

This work will be found of equal service to both men and women, as in
each chapter the points of social etiquette to be observed by both sexes
have been fully considered.

Those having the charge of young ladies previous to their introduction
into society, either mothers, chaperons, or governesses, will also
derive much useful and practical information from the perusal of this
work, while to those thoroughly versed in the usages of society it
cannot fail to commend itself, containing as it does many useful and
valuable hints on social questions.

MANNERS AND RULES OF GOOD SOCIETY

CHAPTER I

THE MEANING OF ETIQUETTE

What is etiquette, and what does the word convey? It is a poor one in
itself, and falls very far short of its wide application. It has an
old-fashioned ring about it, savouring of stiffness, primness, and
punctiliousness, which renders it distasteful to many possessing
advanced ideas; and yet the word etiquette is not so very old either, as
Johnson did not include it in his dictionary, and Walker apologises for
introducing it into his, and according to the authorities he quotes, it
is supposed to be derived from stichos, stichus, stichetus, sticketta,
and from thence to etiquette. But whether derived from the Latin or the
French--and many incline to the latter opinion--there is no doubt that
could a new word be found to replace this much abused one, it would be a
welcome addition to our vocabulary. The word has unfortunately become
associated in our minds with forms, ceremonies, and observances, in an
exaggerated degree; and it has been so constantl