it wouldn't never do
When the cap'n and the crew
Were a set o' little swabs all plas-ter!

_Chorus_--So to navigate the Serpentine, &c.

An Ark is p'raps
The berth for chaps
As is fond o' Natural Hist'ry.
But I sez to SHEM
And the rest o' them,
"How you get along at all's a myst'ry!
With a Wild Beast Show
Let loose below,
And four fe-males on deck too!
I never could agree
With your happy fami-lee,
And your lubberly ways I objeck to."

[_Chorus. Hornpipe by the company, after which the_ Soldier Doll
_advances condescendingly to_ Miss JENNY.

_The Sold. D._ Invincible I'm reckoned by the Ladies.
But yield to you--though conquering my trade is!

_Miss J. (repulsing him)._ Oh, go away, you great conceited thing, you!

[The Sold. D. _persists in offering her attentions_.

_Miss P. (watching them bitterly)._ To be deserted by one's doll does
sting you!

[_The_ Sailor D. _approaches_.

_The Sailor D. (to_ Miss P.) Let me console you, Miss, a Sailor Doll
As swears his 'art was ever true to POLL!

(_N.B.--Good opportunity for Song here._)

_Miss P._ (_indignantly to_ Miss J.) Your Sailor's teasing me to be his
idol!
Do make him stop--(_spitefully_)--When you've _quite_ done with _my_ doll!

_Miss J. (scornfully)._ If you suppose _I_ want your wretched warrior,
I'm sorry _for_ you!

_Miss P._ I for you am sorrier.

_Miss J. (weeping_, R.). POLLY preferred to me--what ignominy!

_Miss P. (weeping,_ L.). My horrid Sailor jilting me for JENNY!

[_The two Dolls face one another_, C.

_Sailor D. (to_ Soldier D.). You've made her sluice her skylights now,
you swab!

_Soldier D. (to_ Sailor D.). As you have broke her heart, I'll break
your nob!

[_Hits him._

_Sailor D. (in a pale fury)._ This insult must be blotted out in bran!

_Soldier D. (fiercely)._ Come on, I'll shed your sawdust--if I can!

[Miss J. _and_ P. _throw themselves between the
combatants_.

_Miss J._ For any mess you make we shall be scolded,
So wait until a drugget we've unfolded!

[_They lay down drugget on Stage._

_The Soldier D. (politely)._ No hurry, Miss, _we_ don't object to waiting.

_The Sailor D. (aside)._ His valour--like my own--'s evaporating!
(_Defiantly to_ Soldier D.). On guard! You'll see how soon I'll run
you through! (_Confidentially_). (If you will not prod _me_,
I won't pink _you_.)

_The Soldier D._ Thro