ES'S head and put into mine years ago by one of the greatest
CHARLESES that ever lived, whose name was DICKENS; and mine, without the
"ENS," is

Yours truly,

"Mr. DICK."

P.S.--"'Mr. DICK sets us all right,' said My Aunt, quietly."

* * * * *

A CHAPTER OF DICKENS UP TO DATE.

[Illustration]

(_In which Mrs. Harris, assisted by a Carpet, is the cause of a division
between Friends._)

MRS. GAMP'S apartment wore, metaphorically speaking, a Bab-Balladish
aspect, being considerably topsy-turvey, as rooms have a habit of being
after any unusual ebullition of temper on the part of their occupants.
It was certainly not swept and garnished, although its owner was
preparing for the reception of a visitor. That visitor was BETSEY PRIG.

Mrs. GAMP'S chimney-piece was ornamented with three photographs: one of
herself, looking somewhat severe; one of her friend and bosom companion,
Mrs. PRIG, of far more amiable aspect; and one of a mysterious personage
supposed to be Mrs. HARRIS.

"There! Now, drat you, BETSEY, don't be long!" said Mrs. GAMP,
apostrophising her absent friend. "For I'm in no mood for waiting, I do
assure you. I'm easy pleased, but I must have my own way (as is always
the best and wisest), and have it directly minit, when the fancy strikes
me, else we shall part, and that not friendly, as I could wish, but
bearin' malice in our 'arts."

* * *

"BETSEY," said Mrs. GAMP, "I will now propoge a toast. My frequent
pardner, BETSEY PRIG!"

"Which, altering the name to SAIRAH GAMP, I drink," said Mrs. PRIG,
"with love and tenderness!"

"Now, SAIRAH," said Mrs. PRIG, "jining business with pleasure, as so
often we've done afore, wot is this bothersome affair about which you
wants to consult me? _Are_ you a-goin' to call me over the Carpet once
more, SAIREY?"

"Drat the Carpet!" exclaimed Mrs. GAMP, with a vehement explosiveness
whose utter unexpectedness quite disconcerted her friend.

"_Is_ it Mrs. HARRIS?" inquired Mrs. PRIG, solemnly.

"Yes, BETSY PRIG, it _is_," snapped Mrs. GAMP, angrily, "that very
person herself, and no other, which, after twenty years of trust, I
never know'd nor never expected to, which it 'urts a feeling 'art even
to name her name as henceforth shall be nameless betwixt us twain."

"Oh, shall it?" retorted Mrs. PRIG, shortly. "Why bless the woman, if
_I_'d said that, you'd ha' bitten the nose off my face, as is your
nature to, as the poi