dressed to represent Diana the Huntress. Some of those in the immediate
vicinity of the ill-used goddess aver that she was distinctly heard to
say, "Pig!". Those who know her better declare, however, that, with her
usual politeness, she merely remarked, "I _beg_ your pardon." Hence the
misconception, which is certainly pardonable.

* * * * *

The trees in the Park are now assuming their brightest verdure. It is
interesting to note that the number of sparrows shows no signs of
diminution.

* * * * *

Excellent subject Sir ARTHUR has chosen for his serious
opera--_Ivanhoe_. It is now finally settled that the part of _Rowena_
will not be entrusted to Mr. HERBERT CAMPBELL. It is whispered that the
great effect will be the song of _Isaac of York_, magnificently
orchestrated for fifteen Jews' harps, played by lads all under the age
of twelve. They have already commenced practice under the eye of Sir
ARTHUR, who himself is no unskilled performer on the ancient lyre of
JUBAL.

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE MODERN PISTOL.

"BASE IS THE SLAVE THAT PAYS!"]

* * * * *

A RUM CUSTOMER.

[Illustration]

THEY have bin so jolly busy lately at the "Grand Hotel," and a reel
grand Hotel it is too, that they wanted sum assistence in the werry
himportant line of Waiters; so they werry naterally sent for me, and in
course I went, and a werry nice cumferal place it is for ewerybody, both
Waiters and Wisiters, and I can trewly say as I aint had not a singel
complaint since I have been here.

Well, one day a young Swell came a sauntering in, about 4 o'clock, and
wanted to know if he cood have a lunch for a gentleman, and in the
hansomest room as there was in the house. Of course I was ekal to the
ocashun, and told him, yes, he coud, and not only in the hansomest room
in that house but in the hansomest room in Lundon, and I at wunce showed
him into our Marble Pillow Room, which I coud see at a glarnce made a
werry deep impression on his mind, which I was not at all surprized at,
for it is about as near a approach to Paradise as you can resonably
expect so werry near the Strand.

So I sets him down at a sweet little round table, and I puts a lovely
gold candlestick on it, with two darling little cherubs a climing up it,
jest as if they was a going for to lite the candle, and then he horders
his simple lunc