* * * *

[Illustration: FELICITOUS QUOTATIONS.

_Maud (on crossing the boundary between Hertfordshire and the
neighbouring county, in which the Muzzling Order does not prevail)._
"THAT'S RIGHT! OFF WITH HIS MUZZLE! SO MUCH FOR _BUCKINGHAM!_"]

* * * * *

ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.

_House of Commons, Monday, May 12._--"If a shutter be closed in the
daytime," said OLD MORALITY, a little abruptly, as we walked down to
House to-day, "the stream of light piercing through the crevice seems to
be in constant agitation. Why is this?"

Hadn't slightest idea. Suggested Right Hon. Gentleman had better give
notice of question.

[Illustration: "Can't a-bear verbosity."]

"I can tell you why," he proceeded, with unwonted perturbation. "Because
little motes and particles of dust, thrown into agitation by the
convective currents of the air, are made visible by the strong beam of
light thrown into the room through the crevice of the shutter. That's
just the way with us, dear TOBY; _a_ is the hatred of Government by the
Opposition, the strong desire to take our places; _b_ is the convective
currents of air which agitate the political atmosphere; _c_ is the
Compensation Bill, the strong beam of light which, thrown into House
through crevice opened by JOKIM, makes the whole thing clear. Don't know
whether _I_ am; but if you reflect on the situation, you'll find there
is much in what I say. We were going along moderately well. Irish Land
Bill, of course, a rock ahead; everyone takes that into account.
Suddenly JOKIM, spoiling for a fight, goes and invents this Compensation
Bill, quietly hands it over to RITCHIE to work through, and all the
greasy compound is in the devouring element. Seems a pity we could not
leave the tolerably satisfactory undisturbed. Now we're in for it.
Meetings out-of-doors; opposition in-doors; prospect of getting on with
ordinary work of Session receding into distance."

Good deal of truth in what OLD MORALITY says. House crowded to-night;
full of seething excitement. RITCHIE moved Second Reading of
Compensation Bill; CAINE moved Amendment, eliminating principle of
compensation. Capital speech; would have been better if it had been half
an hour shorter. Between them, RITCHIE and CAINE occupied nearly three
hours of sitting, leaving five hours for the remaining 668 Members.

"This is not debate," protested SHAW-LEFEV