nking of LONGBOAT," he replied. "The Earl of PEMBROKE was
invited to enter Ireland by DESMOND MACMOROGH, and between you and
me and the lamp-post DESMOND was a bad hat. Look at the way he stole
DEVORGHAL, the wife of TIGHEIRANACH O'ROURKE."

"Quite, quite," we replied. As a matter of fact, if he had mentioned
"The Silent Wife" we should have felt a bit more at home with the
situation.

"Now take the Danes," said Sir PHILIP. "Do you ever hear an Irishman
complain of the injustice done to Ireland by the Danes? After that
little scrap at Clontarf they accepted the Danish invasion quite
naturally. Anyhow, the Danes got there first, and the PRIME MINISTER'S
view is 'first come first served.'"

"But will Denmark undertake the mandate?" we asked doubtfully.

"Why not? They have Iceland already, and there is only one letter
different."

Scooting thoughtfully away, we went to visit Mr. T. P. O'CONNOR,
feeling sure he would have some light to throw on the situation. We
found him overjoyed with the proposal.

"Ireland and Denmark are simply made for each other," he pointed out;
"both are butter-producing countries and, welded together, they will
form one homogeneous and indissoluble pat. Peace will reign in Ireland
from marge to marge."

Mr. DEVLIN was less optimistic. The rule of Dublin Castle under OLAF
TRYGVESSON was, he declared, not a whit better than the rule of
Dublin Castle to-day. It was true that TURGES the Dane was King of
All Ireland in 815, but it was not until that chieftain had been
very rightly and carefully killed by MELACHLIN that the Golden Age
of Ireland began. He was doubtful whether Mr. EDMUND DE VALERA would
consent to be a toparch under Danish suzerainty. As for himself, he
held by the Home Rule Bill of 1914 or, failing that, BRIAN BORU.

When we asked Sir EDWARD CARSON how he viewed the prospect of becoming
a Scandinavian jarl, he adopted a morose expression reminding us not a
little of the "moody Dane."

"If the PRIME MINISTER'S proposal becomes law," he said firmly, "I
shall have no alternative but to hand over Ulster to Holland."

We scooted slowly back to the office, forced to the conclusion that
the Irish Question is not settled even yet.

* * * * *

GENIUS AT PLAY.

Shall I ever see again
In the human head a brain
Like the article that fills
That interior of Bill's?

Never a day can pass but he
Makes some great discovery;
His inventio