m was the banjo. On his face was that
maddeningly good-natured smile of his.

"What are you doing in my car?" demanded the rasping voice.

Willoughby did not answer for a moment, but simply stood there
smiling.

Then he said, "Entirely my fault. Your chauffeur is in no way to
blame. The fact is we couldn't get a taxi, and my brother being rather
delicate----"

"What, another?" barked the rasper.

There was nothing for it. Acutely conscious as I was how emphatically
my countenance, flushed by the exertions of the evening, belied
Willoughby's description of "delicate," it was impossible for me to
remain in the car, and I stepped heavily out.

"It rhymes with _hat_," said Willoughby softly.

* * * * *

As we slunk off down the Square, after as painful a five minutes as
I care to remember, Willoughby kept repeating, "Very unlucky--_very_
unlucky," till we arrived at our own door. Then he began to laugh.

"And what is the joke?" I asked.

"There is no joke," he said--"no joke at all."

"Indeed there is not," I said bitterly. "You must remember that,
unlike yourself, I live here permanently."

"I realise it," said Willoughby. "But do you not think, on
consideration, that that really gives you the advantage? I mean, you
have thus the opportunity of living down the unfortunate accusation of
inebriety that has been brought against us, which I shall not be in a
position to do."

I hate living things down.

* * * * *

COMMERCIAL CANDOUR.

From a restaurant bill-of-fare:--

"Develled Leg of Foul and Curly Bacon, 2/6."

* * * * *

"WORMWOOD SCRUBS'S ILL-HEALTH.

RELEASED TO PRIVATE HOSPITAL.

Mr. Kelly, the Lord Mayor of Dublin, has released Wormwood
Scrubs owing to his health."--_Australian Paper._

Some trouble in the cellular system, we gather.

* * * * *

Mr. JAMES SEXTON, M.P., who was howled down at a meeting at St. Helens
recently, said he refused to bow the knee to a lot of body-snatchers
who wanted him to sacrifice his manhood and conscience to satisfy
their inclinations. A self-respecting sexton could do no less.

ROYAL ACADEMY--FIRST DEPRESSIONS.

[Illustration: A SPIRITED REPRESENTATION OF "CA' CANNY" ON THE KENTISH
COAST DURING THE INITIAL WORK ON THE CHANNEL TUNNEL, _circ._ B.C.
200.]

[Illustration: THE BULL-DOG BREED.

AN AGED COUPLE, THEIR