the suspicion of a snap.
"There's only Johnny and me."

"It was of Johnny I spoke," I assured her. "And, by the way, if you
haven't heard the latest gossip it may interest you to hear that
the young rascal has formed an attachment, and is very proud of
her _fiancee_. She is an awfully pretty girl and quite athletic as
well--in fact, his arm is not nearly so small as Johnny's isn't, and
his carriage is perfect. Their eyes are lovely, while a poet would
rave about his sweet nose, her rosebud mouth and their longs blacks
hairs. Their shoes--"

"Oh, stop!" cried my wife. "You're muddling me all up. Are you talking
about Johnny or--"

"Name of a pipe, my cabbage," I said, determined to give her logic
with swear-words and endearments as well, "where has your reasoning
gone to? Any logical Frenchman would tell you at once that I wasn't
talking about Johnny, but about her girl. As I was saying, their shoes
have each a dinky Gibson bow on her."

"M'sieu'," reflected M. du Val in his polite way, "I begin to think
zat you are getting ze advantage over me."

"Don't take any notice of him, Mosseer," pleaded my wife indignantly;
"he's only pulling your leg."

"Pulling my--?" The Frenchman cogitated for a minute; then he
understood and smiled in a superior way again. "All the same," he
murmured quietly, "we French 'ave not _all_ ze illogicalness, _n'est
ce pas_?"

"Not quite all," I cheerfully agreed. "By the way, would you like to
come with us this afternoon to the great Review in Hyde Park? Her
Majesty the KING will be there, also the QUEEN and very likely His
Royal Highness Princess MARY--"

"I come wiz muchness of pleasure," assented our guest very hurriedly.
Then, being a thorough little sportsman, he added with a bow:--

"If M'sieu' could persuade _'er_ wife to wear _'is_ new 'at, so veray
charming?"

* * * * *

=Another Apology Wanted.= "AN ATTRACTIVE EVENT AT ---- CHAPEL.
LADY ABSENT FOR FIRST TIME FOR FIFTY YEARS." _Provincial Paper._

* * * * *

"Dogs frequently go straight to destruction in this way, but an
official of the Royal Society for the Prevention of Animals
told an _Evening News_ representative he did not think they had
suicidal intentions."--_Evening News._

If they had there would be less need for the Society.

* * * * *

"Persian Rugs for Sale by gentleman recently return