position."--_Daily Paper._

Purchaser will acquire a steak in the country.

* * * * *
[Illustration: =ANOTHER CHILD ACTRESS.=

_Mrs. Bluff_ (_a popular pauper_). "NOW, FANNY, WHAT'LL YER SAY WHEN I
TAKES YER INTO THE KIND LADY'S DRORIN'-ROOM?"

_Fanny_ (_thoroughly proficient_). "OH, THAT'S AN EASY ONE. I'LL PUT
ON A BEWTIFUL LORST LOOK AN' SAY, 'MUVVER, THIS IS 'EAVEN!'"]

* * * * *

=Mr. Punch's Misquotations.=

Of a prima donna who sang in a private drawing-room: "At a party she
gave what was meant for mankind." (GOLDSMITH).

* * * * *

"FAR-FETCHED HERRING.

"The steam drifter Bruces landed at Buckie to-day the
furthest-fetched catch of herrings on record. The herrings were
caught on the Yarmouth grounds, over 4000 miles distant."

_Scotch Paper._

The last detail seems as far-fetched as the fish.

* * * * *

"Lost, in Paragon Street or Station, Black Dog with purse, money,
eyeglass and papers; name and address inside.--Reward returning
same."--_Daily Paper._

But suppose the finder is an anti-vivisectionist?

* * * * *

There was a young lady named Janet,
Who committed high treason in Thanet;
She dressed up her cat
In a _D**ly M**l_ hat,
And was promptly fired out of this planet.

* * * * *

ONE TOUCH OF DICKENS.

Knowing that there was everything in my appearance to command respect,
I went into the manager's room with confidence. Lean and brown and
middle-aged, in a tweed coat and grey flannel trousers, which, though
not new, were well cut, I felt that I looked like one accustomed to
put in and take out sums from banks. There was no trying for effect,
no effort, no tie-pin. The stick I carried was a plain ash. The pipe,
which I removed from my mouth, had no silver mounting. Ah, but it
showed the tiny mother-of-pearl star which stamped it as a Bungknoll.
There was going to be no difficulty here.

"Good morning," I said. "I regret to trouble a busy man over a small
matter, but I wish to cash a cheque for ten pounds."

He was a quiet, capable-looking man with a rather tired expression.

"The cashing of cheques," he said, laying down his pipe, "is one item
of our duties."

"Unfortunately," I continued, "I have run short of money. I bought a