it--I should say the horn?

Shall I ask why it is that the sagest of mammals
Is toothed with such splendour, for woo or for weal,
As compared with giraffes or hyenas or camels
Or wombats? Why man, when he falls to a meal,
Can suffer no tusk-ache
From marmalade _plus_ cake
To rival the infinite sorrows that Hathis may feel?

These things I might prate of and should do with pleasure
Except that they're far from the point of my song,
Which is aimed at a dental adornment, a treasure
Unheard of as yet by the ignorant throng,
But an ivory fairer,
More fleckless and rarer,
Than ever was looted by trader from elephant's prong.

For I care not for elephants, no, not a particle;
Sorrows they have, but they cause me no ruth;
And a fig for their tushes! I mentioned the article
Merely to lead you along to the truth,
To the fact of all wonder,
Our baby (no blunder--
You can not only feel, you can see it) has cut his first tooth.

EVOE.

* * * * *

Box and Cox.

"The doctors have stopped issuing bulletins regarding Sir Lionel
Phillips whose condition continues to give satisfaction. He is able to
lease his bed for a short time daily."--_Natal Mercury._

* * * * *

"When Lord Kitchener arrived in Cairo very few people were aware that,
travelling on the same train as his lordship, were a crocodile, two
hyenas and two civet cats. These animals had been presented to Lord
Kitchener when he was at Kosti."--_Egyptian Gazette._

We wish we had had the luck to attend this levee.

* * * * *

THE STRONG MAN.

[_A fragment of a diary, signed H.H.A., which may be picked up in
Bouverie Street some day._]

_Monday._--Although I continue to wear an enigmatic smile in public, I may
confess to myself that the situation causes me anxiety. The Home Rule Bill
was passed five days ago, and already there are signs of military activity
in Ireland. Anthony thinks I ought to proclaim martial law. In the course
of a short lecture at breakfast this morning he referred to the historic
case of South Africa, and reminded me of the enthusiasm with which the
Unionist Party greeted this stirring exhibition of the strong hand. Martial
law, he says, supersedes all other