ie or live.
For I cannot live without her, and unless she will allow me to live
with her, she shall not live at all, either alone, or with anybody
else. For she will kill me, by driving me away, and I will take her
with me, if I am to die.

XXV

And then I went away with rapid steps, all through the city, till I
reached the little ruined temple, that stood exactly opposite the door
that Chaturika had shown me the night before. And I hid myself behind
the image of the Moony-crested god, and watching my opportunity that
none should see me, all at once I crossed the street and tried the key
in the door, almost shaking with anxiety, lest after all she had
played me false, by giving me at haphazard some key that would not
fit. But O joy! the key turned, and the door opened, and I went
through. And very carefully I closed it again, and then, first of
all, I hid the key in a hole in the wall, making sure of my return.
And then I drew a deep sigh, almost unable to believe myself once more
in that garden which held Tarawali hidden somewhere in its dark
recesses. And I said to myself, with emotion: Ah! now, come what may,
at least I shall look upon her again, and very soon. And even for that
alone, I am ready to die. And it may very well be that death is close
at hand. For if Chaturika is in the pay of Narasinha, as she very well
may be, and has betrayed me, I may be walking straight into a trap.
For his assassins may be posted in the trees in almost any number. And
little should I care to die, so long as they only slew me on my
return; but I am terribly afraid of being slain before I see her. For
then indeed I should suffer the agony of a double death.

And I went on slowly in the shadow of the trees, guessing my
direction, for I was going by a way I did not know, fearing not at all
the death that might suddenly spring out upon me, but dreading far
more than death the possibility of its anticipating my discovery of
the Queen. And little by little, as nothing happened, I forgot my
fears, saying to myself: To-morrow I will give Chaturika anything in
the world, and beg her pardon for suspecting her of breaking faith.
But in the meantime, I must above all manage to come upon Tarawali
unawares, and escape her observation until I catch sight of her
myself: for if she saw me first, she might hide, or even go away
altogether, leaving me to look for her in vain, and making all
assassination superfluous, since if I do not find her I