yearning with all
my soul to hear again: Thou art late, for I have been waiting for thee
a long time.

And suddenly I came as it were to myself, on the very verge of ruining
all, by falling at her feet:[36] saying to myself with an effort: Now
then, all is lost beyond redemption, unless I play the man. And I came
out of the shadow, saying with obeisance: O lovely Queen, that is thy
own fault, and not mine.

And she started back, with a faint cry, exclaiming in the extremity of
sheer amazement: Shatrunjaya! How in the world hast thou got in here?

And I answered with a smile, though my heart beat like a drum within
me: Ah! thou delicious Queen, in this lower world many things come
about contrary to expectation, of which this is one. And if thy own
surprise is extreme, so is mine: since, as it seems, my coming is not
only unexpected, but unwelcome. And yet how short a time it is, since
thou didst entertain me with a sweetness so extraordinary, and so
spontaneous, and so mutually tasted, that I thought only to give thee
pleasure by repeating the experience, and that is why I came. And if
thou art sorry to look at me again, I do not share in thy feeling,
since all the pains I have taken to arrive are repaid by even a single
glance at thyself. For surely even Indra's heaven cannot hold anything
so unimaginably lovely as thou art to-night.

And still she stood, gazing at me with strange eyes, and she murmured
to herself, half aloud: Shatrunjaya! It cannot be! And I said: Nay,
thou very lovely lady, but it can: since here I am, and I am I. And
why not? Didst thou think I had forgot, what could not easily be
forgotten, how we floated together in thy cradle among the lotuses? Or
is it any wonder if I have thought of nothing else, ever since, but
how to return? But as to how I came, it is a secret, that I do not
choose to tell, since the fancy may take me to come again. And judging
by thy excessive condescension when we met before, I did not think
very much to displease thee, if I ventured to substitute myself this
evening for another, who cannot even hope to rival me in the only
thing that matters, my unutterable adoration of thyself: since of thy
favour we are both of us equally unworthy. And yet, if, as it seems, I
was utterly mistaken and the substitution is not to thy taste, I can
very easily atone for my blunder by going away again at once. Dost
thou really imagine me one to force himself upon a lady who wishes him
aw