e will not even be the chance, and it will be too late.

And instead of going, I stood, rooted to the spot like a tree, gazing
at her thirstily, in a stupor of despair, and saying to myself: What!
can it really be possible that I am actually looking at her now, as
she says, for the very last time in my life, doomed to go here, or
there, in the world, without ever seeing her again, knowing all the
while that she is, still, somewhere to be seen, and actually being
seen, only not by me? Out upon such horror, for it would be less, even
if she were dead! And she, so kind, so gentle, how in the world can
she stand there, bidding me with a wave of her hand, in that low sweet
voice of hers, to go away to a great distance, to save my life,
knowing well, for she is very clever, that she is taking it away, by
banishing me for ever? And am I just to be thrown away at the bidding
of Narasinha?

And at the thought, all at once I began to laugh with sheer rage. And
I said to myself: What! must I turn my back on heaven, and go meekly
down to hell, at the order of Narasinha? Would she banish me at all,
but for Narasinha? Who in the world is Narasinha? Is Narasinha my
master? Is he even her master, for as it seems, she is rather his?
Are these his orders, or her own? Ha! now, I wonder. What if after all
this Narasinha were only a man of straw, doing exactly as he is told,
and acting as her agent and her instrument, for the sake of what she
gives him? Is it likely, after all, that he orders, and she obeys? And
am I being fooled, and handed over by herself to banishment, or even
death, behind the screen of Narasinha?

And I looked at her as she stood, patiently waiting for me to go, with
a soul torn to pieces by rage, and suspicion, and love-longing, and
flat refusal to go away. And suddenly there came into my recollection
Haridasa, saying as he stood outside the door: Nectar when she turns
towards thee: poison when she turns away. And I said to myself: So
now, she turns away. And can she possibly not know, what becomes of
all her lovers?

And I went up to her, all at once, and took her by her two hands, and
looked straight into her eyes. And I said: Tarawali, thou choosest thy
servants well. I know the use of Chaturika. And now dimly I begin to
see the use of Narasinha. Does he never tell thee where he throws the
bodies of thy old lovers, when thou hast finished with their souls?

And then, strange! her eyes wavered, as if unable to