prison, parents paying the
fines for those below that age. This class legislation is bitterly
resented by some of our younger wage-earners, who intend to insist
upon their right to pay for their own amusements.

***

People living next door to a post-office where burglars blew open the
safe thought it was an air raid and went into the cellar. A suggestion
that signals, clearly distinguishable from those used in air raids,
should be used on these occasions, is under consideration in the right
quarter.

***

The FOOD CONTROLLER has advised the Liverpool Corporation that
vegetable marrows are not fruit. There is a growing belief among jam
manufacturers that Lord RHONDDA'S business ability has been overrated.

* * * * *

[Illustration: A HINT.

_Unsuccessful Competitor at the Allotment-holders' Show._ "I AIN'T
MAKING ANY COMPLAINT, MR. SMITH. BUT W'EN THE FUST PRIZE FOR ONIONS
GOES TO THE JUDGE'S BROTHER-IN-LAW AND THE FUST PRIZE FOR MARRERS TO
'IS WIFE'S GRANDFATHER, IT MAKES YER THINK A BIT, THAT'S ALL."]

* * * * *

CALLING A CAB.

["But how to get a cab without whistling--that is the
problem."--_Evening News_.]

A very good plan is to purchase a camp-stool and sit down in the
Strand until a taxicab breaks down. When you are sure that the driver
is not looking step inside.

Taxi-drivers are human, and if caught young can be made so tame that
they will take fares by the hand.

An excellent plan is to make a noise like a road under repair. But be
careful that the driver does not make a noise like a cab going over a
human body.

The essential thing is to interest the driver in your personal
affairs. If you see a car rushing along stand in the road. When the
cab pulls up, ask the driver if he would like to see your cigarette
pictures.

* * * * *

A HEAD CASE.

We were discussing that much discussed question, whether it is better
to be wounded in the leg or in the arm, when young Spilbury butted in.

"I don't know about legs and arms," he said, "but I know there are
certain advantages in having your head bound up." Spilbury's own head
was bound up, and we all said at once that of course the head was much
the worst place in which to be wounded.

"It may be," said Spilbury. "But what I said was that there are
certain advantages in having your head bound up. That's not quite
the same thi