ps them from their wives),
And Jones was one of them.

The hugest bolts of Messrs. KRUPP
Hissed harmless through his hair;
The Bosch might blow his billet up,
But he would be elsewhere;
And if with soul-destroying thud
A monstrous Minnie hit the mud,
The thing was sure to be a dud
If only Jones was there.

Men envied him his scatheless skin,
But he deplored the fact,
And day by day, from sheer chagrin,
He did some dangerous act;
He slew innumerable Huns,
He captured towns, he captured guns;
His friends went home with Blighty ones,
But he remained intact.

We had a horse of antique shape,
Mild and of mellowed age,
And, after some unique escape,
Which made him mad with rage,
On this grave steed Jones rode away...
They bore him back at break of day,
And Jones is now with Mrs. J.--
The convalescent stage.

The world observed the chance was droll
That sent so mild a hack
To smite the invulnerable soul
Whom WILLIAM could not whack;
But spiteful folk remarked, of course,
He must have used terrific force
Before he got that wretched horse
To throw him off its back.

A.P.H.

* * * * *

ANOTHER IMPENDING APOLOGY.

"Many coolies of the savage tribes from the hilly places, who have
been enlisted for the labour corps, were seen passing this town by
train lately. Some had too few clothes. Our late Chief Secretary,
the Hon'ble Mr. ----, was seen among them."--_Times of Assam_.

* * * * *

"All can sympathise with Mr. ---- and his teetotal party in
deploring the excesses of 'liquor' of any description, and the
vice, want and misery it brings in its course. But we cannot for a
single moment listen to their selfish and pitiful beatings, when
we know that if their methods were carried out through the land
it would people our beloved country with a virile race of effete
degenerates."--_Provincial Paper_.

"Virile" is good, and should encourage the teetotalers to proceed with
their "beatings."

* * * * *

GERMAN CAVALRY IN (AND OUT OF) ACTION.

"'Polybe,' writing in the _Figaro_, estimates the German losses at
20,000 horse de combat on the first day of the battle."--_Local
Paper_.

* * * * *

"Following the Franco-German war an epide