),
And cleared _per annum_ in this way
Twelve hundred jingling, tingling quid.
In fact my brain in anguish reels
To think we never took a leaf
Out of the book which taught that eels
Are better than prime cuts of beef.

In youth, fastidiously inclined,
I own with shame that I eschewed,
Like most of my unthinking kind,
This luscious and nutritious food;
But now that DESBOROUGH reveals
Its value, with profound belief
I sing with him: "One pound of eels
Is better than a loin of beef."

I chant it loudly in my bath,
I chant it when the sun is high,
And when the moon pursues her path
Noctambulating through the sky.
And when the bill of fare at meals
Is more than usually brief,
Again I sing: "One pound of eels
Is better than a loin of beef."

It is a charm that never fails
When friends accost me in the street
And utter agonizing wails
About the price of butcher's meat.
"Cheer up," I tell them, "creels on creels
Are hastening to your relief;
Cheer up, my friends, one pound of eels
Is better than a loin of beef."

Then all ye fearful folk, dismayed
By threatened shortage of supplies,
Let not your anxious hearts be swayed
By croakers or their dismal cries;
But, from Penzance to Galashiels,
From Abertillery to Crieff,
Remember that "one pound of eels
Is better than a loin of beef."

But these are only pleasant dreams
Unless, to realise our hopes,
Proprietors of ponds and streams
Re-stock them, like the early Popes.
Then, though we still run short of keels
And corn be leaner in the sheaf,
We shall at least have endless eels,
Unnumbered super-loins of beef.

* * * * *

AT THE PLAY.

"BILLETED."

No wonder the Royalty Management, realising how resolutely determined
the public was to have nothing to do with anything so witty and
workmanlike as _The Foundations_ of Mr. GALSWORTHY, have for their
new bill declined upon the pleasantly trivial comedy of errors and
tarradiddles, _Billeted_.

[Illustration: BILLETING AND COOING.
_(The happy ending.)_
_Captain Rymill_ ... MR. DENNIS EADIE.
_Betty Taradine_ ... MISS IRIS HOEY.]

_Betty Taradine_ is billeting at her pretty manor-house a nice
vague Colonel. The Vicar's sister disapproves, because _Betty_ is a
grass-widow, and _Penelope_, the all-but-flapper, an insufficient
chaperone.