once. Still she
don't say nothing, and I couldn't feel 'er on the reins, so I done a
few side steps. And then she spoke, and this is wot she sez: 'Oh!' she
sez, 'please don't!' and started crying.

"There's no vice about me, and when she begun 'er game I stopped mine.
You'd 'ardly believe it, but that 'ere woman got down orf that 'ere
rake and she come round to my 'ead and, 'Pore darling,' she sez, 'was
you frightened of the train then?' Me! wot's 'ad me life in the London
docks till I come 'aying 'long of the War.

"Ah! I reckon the roan pony's right: You can't 'ave the larst word
with females!"

* * * * *

"For sale--A large stone gentleman's diamond ring, set in a solid
gold band."--_Cork Examiner_.

The National Museum should not fail to secure this remarkable relic of
the Palaeolithic Age.

* * * * *

From a report of Mr. HENDERSON'S speech on Stockholm:--

"The Prime Minister has been in favour again. What was a virtue in
May ought of this conference once, and he may be so not to be a
crime for us in August."--_Daily Dispatch_.

The Stockholm atmosphere appears to be fatal to clearness of
statement.

* * * * *

SUAVITER IN MODO.

Profound stillness reigned in the wardroom of H.M.S. _Sinister_,
broken only by the low tones of the Paymaster and the First Lieutenant
disputing over the question of proportional representation and by
the snores of the Junior Watchkeeper, stretched inelegantly on the
sofa. The rest of the occupants were in the coma induced by all-night
coaling. Into this haven of quiet burst the ship's Doctor in a state
of exaggerated despair. He groaned and, sinking into a chair, mopped
his forehead ostentatiously. The disputants ceased their discussion
and watched him intently as though he were some performing animal.

"Gentlemen," said the Paymaster presently in tones of sepulchral
gloom, "the neophyte of AESCULAPIUS, to whose care the inscrutable
wisdom of Providence has entrusted our lives, is being excruciatingly
funny. Number One says it is belated remorse for the gallant servants
of His Majesty whom he has consigned to an untimely grave."

"Poor jesting fool," said his victim, "little he knows that even now
Heaven has prepared a punishment fitted even to his crimes. I have
seen it--nay, I have spoken with it."

"Suppose," intervened the Commander, "that you postpon