paper, _The Express_. We refer to the
following announcement:--

"AUSTRIAN WARSHIP SUNK
By J. A. SINCLAIR POOLEY
_Express_ Correspondent."

* * *

It is stated that the German barque _Excelsior_, bound for Bremen with a
valuable cargo, has been captured by one of our cruisers. It speaks well
for the restraint of our Navy that, with so tempting a name, she was not
blown up.

* * *

A proposal has been made in _The Globe_ that all "alien enemies" in this
country shall be confined within compounds until the end of the War.
Suggested alteration in the National Anthem: "Compound his enemies."

* * *

"Carry on" is no doubt an admirable motto for these times, but the
Special Constable who was surprised by his wife while carrying on with a
cook (which he thought to be part of his professional duty) complains
that it is misleading.

* * *

We hear that some of our Nuts have volunteered to serve as regimental
pets.

* * *

Partridge shooting began last week, but poor sport is recorded. The
birds declare that it is not their fault. They turned up in large
numbers, but there were not enough guns to make it worth while.

* * *

Illustration: _The Thinker._ "YOU SAY THIS WAR DON'T AFFECT YOU: BUT
'OW, INSTEAD OF A BRITISH COPPER SAYIN', 'GIT AHT OF IT,' WOULD YER LIKE
ONE O' THEM GERMAN JOHNDARMS TO KEEP PRODDIN' AT YER WIF 'IS BAYNIT?"

* * * * *

The Gibraltar Manner.

"GIBRALTAR LIFE NORMAL.
Ladies Making Garments."

* * * * *

THE TWO GERMANIES.

Marvellous the utter transformation
Of the spirit of the German nation!

Once the land of poets, seers and sages,
Who enchant us in their deathless pages,

Holding high the torch of Truth, and earning
Endless honour by their zeal for learning.

Such the land that in an age uncouther
Bred the soul-emancipating LUTHER.

Such the land that made our debt the greater
By the gift of _Faust_ and _Struwwelpeter_.

* * *

Now the creed of NIETZSCHE, base, unholy,
Guides the nation's brain and guides it solely.

Now MOZART'S serene and joyous magic
Yields to RICHARD STRAUSS, the haemorrhagic.[1]

Now the eagle changing to the vulture
Preaches rapine in the name of culture.

Now the Prussian _Junker_, blind with fury,
Claims to be God's counsel,