Bureau does not guarantee the accuracy of this statement.]

* * * * *

THE FIRST BLUNDER.

How I succeeded in getting this interview I should very much like to
know. But I did. Let that suffice.

When I entered He was standing before His mirror fumbling with His
moustache, which seemed unwilling any more to point upwards, but had a
persistent droop. "_Donner und blitzen!_" He exclaimed irascibly as he
added more and more stiffening paste.

Observing me He paused and sat down, motioning me to do the same. Then,
after taking a tablespoonful of the blood-and-iron tonic in a bottle
beside Him, He bade me be quick with my questions as He was busy.

I explained my visit at once. "It says in the paper," I said, "that your
Majesty's troops are being withdrawn from the North of Belgium."

He nodded.

"And that," I continued, "the province of Antwerp is free of them."

He nodded again.

"But," I said, "surely that is a mistake--an error both of tactics and
judgment of the greatest seriousness?"

"How?" He asked.

"This chastisement of the world," I said, "which you are to inflict----"

He smiled agreement.

"This spread of _Geist_--" I continued.

He beamed.

"How can it be thorough if you shirk your duty?" I added.

He bade me explain myself more fully.

"Take Louvain," I said, "as a start. That was splendid."

"Wasn't it?" He replied. "Hoch!"

"That's the way," I continued. "Destroy the gems of architecture. Burn
the priceless and unique manuscripts. Wreck the seats of learning. That
will teach the world what you really mean, what you really stand for."

His eyes glistened. "We do our best," He said. "Hoch!"

"But why be half-hearted?" I went on. "That's the folly. It seems to me
that some one among your generals must be blundering very badly if
Antwerp is to be so scandalously neglected. The lesson that it might
teach if properly handled! The enormous value of its example to those
parts of the civilised world that are still on the fence!--Holland, for
instance, Italy, Bulgaria."

"But the blunder? For God's sake--I should say for My sake--tell Me
quickly," He said with his hand on the telephone.

I drew from my pocket a packet of picture postcards and showed him one.

"How beautiful!" He said. "Where is it?"

"Antwerp Cathedral," I replied.

"What a lovely spire!" He remarked wistfully. "So tall and slender. It
looks as if it would fall so easily."

I showed H