ers,
Offer their Entire Stock of Horrifying
Post-Impressionist and Futurist
Pictures and Sculpture
To Officers serving Abroad or on
Home Defence.

_No reasonable offer refused._

No enemy can stand against them.

THE GOREY GALLERY, BOND STREET.

* * * * *

THE BIRTHDAY PRESENT ENDOWMENT SCHEME.

Jane's uncle--Jane is my daughter--came to me one day and said, "What do
you think of my giving Jane a camera for her birthday? Wouldn't she be
pleased? The advertisement says, 'Any babe can do it,' and she'll be
ten."

"I have no doubt she'd be delighted," I said, "but there's a but. If you
give it you must endow it."

"What do you mean?" said Jane's uncle.

"The camera's the least part of it," I replied. "For half-a-guinea you
can cast a camera upon the world, but have you given a moment's
consideration to that camera's means of support? No, I thought not. One
more proof of the happy-go-lucky spirit of the present day. Yet you know
that a camera has to be fed on plates, that it consumes quantities of
poisonous acids, and expresses itself on reams of paper. It is
altogether a desperate and spendthrift character. On whom do you suppose
the cost of all this will fall?"

"On the employer, I should think," said Jane's uncle. "Doesn't Jane get
pocket-money?"

"Threepence a week," I said. "Barely her share of the camera's insurance
stamp. Jane being under age, any debts she may incur will devolve on me,
and I am really not in a position to take on this responsibility. No, I
repeat, if you give it you must endow it."

Jane's uncle meditated. Then he said, "Very well, I'll endow it to the
extent of L1 a year, to be paid in quarterly instalments of 5s. each."

Jane was delighted with the scheme. She had never had five shillings to
spend before, and was enthralled to find that it would buy not only
paper and poisons and plates, but also a mackintosh coat for her camera.
Then she took snapshots indoors and outdoors, at all times and in all
weathers, with catholic indifference to subject and suitability.

"The book says one has to learn by experience," she said, showing me a
pile of under-exposures. "This one of you is very good--the only pity is
that I didn't get your head into the photo." This was one of many small
details.

Jane looked forward feverishly to the payment of the second instalment.

"You'll have to put it by," I said. "You have plenty of paper and things
left, haven't y