of my golf balls are addled," I said. "I want to have a
round to-morrow afternoon."

"Of course not. I've washed them all and put them back again."

"Good egg!" I said.

Suddenly I had an unhappy thought. "Where," I asked, "are the figures
relating to this lot of Evangeline's?"

"Here," she said, "under 'E'. Five chickens. I've allowed five to die,
though I'm sure they wouldn't if they knew what they're wanted for."

"I'm afraid you'll have to work it all out again."

"Why?"

"Look here," I said, "five chickens, and each going to lay at least
enough eggs to sit on, and half of the sitting to mature, as it were;
that sounds fair enough, but not more than three of this lot will lay
eggs at all."

"Oh! why ever not?" she said.

"Nature's limitations," I explained. "Seven of them are cockerels."

* * * * *

Illustration: TRAINING IN THE PARK.

OLD GENTLEMAN ENGAGED IN QUIET SIESTA IN KENSINGTON GARDENS SUDDENLY
WAKES TO FIND HIMSELF IN THE ABOVE ALARMING SITUATION AND HASTILY
CONCLUDES THAT THE GERMANS HAVE ARRIVED.

* * * * *

Our Latest Cinema Film.

"The Boa Constrictor, 3,500 feet."
_Advt. in "Cape Times._"

There must have been some centipedes in the family.

* * * * *

"'I received orders from my employer,' he said, 'to go to ----,' but
found that the train service was stopped. I had to do many miles on
my bicycle."--_Yorkshire Evening News._

We trust that he did not scorch very badly on his arrival at this
unmentionable destination.

* * * * *

OUR BOOKING-OFFICE.

(_By Mr. Punch's Staff of Learned Clerks._)

Some people have all the luck! Fancy preparing for publication this
summer a novel whose scene is laid in Belgium. The picture of Bruges
Tower on the cover of _The Belfry_ (HODDER AND STOUGHTON) should alone
be enough to sell it like the hottest of hot cakes. Of course it would
be rather too much to expect the story to treat of the Belgium we all
love and admire to-day. Indeed, MARGARET BAILLIE SAUNDERS, writing in
the old times of six weeks ago, permits herself some good-natured humour
at the expense of the little red-trousered army. To-day it sounds oddly
archaic. But, this apart, there is enough topical and local colour in
the setting to secure success, even without an interesting story such as
is told here. One may perhaps fairl