ow the precedent set by your family? Only, instead
of a dormouse and a stamp-album, I chose to purchase smartness. I spent
the three remaining instalments on my wardrobe."

* * * * *

It was my birthday yesterday. Jane's uncle sent me a handsome
silver-mounted walking-stick. "It is the only thing I can think of that
requires no endowment," he wrote. "Pavements are supplied by the County
Council, and you have an umbrella-stand."

I should like to use it across his back.

* * * * *

Illustration: _First Lady._ "I SEE THE MASTER CUTTING A DASH THIS
MORNING. NOBODY WOULDN'T THINK HE WAS HARD UP."

_Second Lady._ "LOR' BLESS YER, NO! SINCE THIS 'ERE MERRYTORIUM COME IN
HE WALKS DOWN THE HIGH STREET IN FRONT OF ALL THE SHOPS AS THOUGH HE
DIDN'T OWE 'EM A PENNY."

* * * * *

Illustration: THROUGH GERMAN SPECTACLES.

_Germany._ "PERMIT ME TO RECOMMEND THESE GLASSES, MADE IN GERMANY, AND
GUARANTEED TO GIVE AN UNUSUALLY WIDE AND LUMINOUS VIEW--SAME, IN FACT,
AS MINE."

_Italy_. "VERY KIND AND THOUGHTFUL, I'M SURE; BUT I CAN SEE QUITE
NICELY, THANK YOU. I CAN SEE RIGHT THROUGH YOU, FOR INSTANCE, WITH THE
NAKED EYE. _GOOD_ MORNING."

* * * * *

MR. PUNCH'S HOLIDAY STORIES.

IV.--IN THE HIGHLAND FORESTS.

(_In the approved manner of the Sporting Feuilleton._)

Alone in a first-class compartment of the Scotch Express Ralph
Wonderson, athlete and sportsman, journeyed northwards for the grouse
hunting. He was surrounded by gun-cases and cartridge-belts, and, as the
train flashed through the summer landscape, he reflected pleasantly that
"Grey Bob," his magnificent hunter, was snugly ensconced in the
horse-box adjoining.

It was dusk when they arrived at the little Highland station. As he
stepped out of the carriage with jingling spurs he was greeted by Grey
Bob, who stood impatiently pawing the platform. Flicking a speck of dust
from his favourite's glossy neck, Ralph leaped lightly into the saddle
and cantered out of the station towards Clancrachan Castle.

As he rode through the gathering darkness he caracoled with an enviable
lightness of heart. Was not his host for the next three weeks his
bosom-friend, young Lord Tamerton? And was not the beautiful
golden-haired Lady Margaret Tamerton with her brother? Little marvel
that Ralph tossed his rifle high in the air and caught it again and
aga