ng. Gertrude Queen-and-Kingston.]

9:15. _Rosencrantz and Guildenstern_. Excellent piece of genuine fun.
If Mr. W.S. GILBERT could be induced to add to it, I am sure it would
stand an extension of ten minutes to allow _Hamlet_ to return and have
a grand combat with the King, and then for all the characters to be
poisoned by mistake, and so to end happily.

To everyone who does not look upon SHAKSPEARE's work as "Holy Writ,"
the question must have occurred, why did the Divine WILLIAMS put his
excellent rules and regulations for play-actors into the mouth of a
noble amateur addressing distinguished members of "_the_ Profession"?
Imagine some royal or noble personage telling HENRY IRVING how to play
_Cardinal Wolsey_, or instructing Sir FREDERICK LEIGHTON in painting,
or telling J.L. TOOLE how to "get his laughs"! Probably actor and
artist would listen in courtier-like silence to the illustrious
lecturer, just as SHAKSPEARE makes his players behave when _Hamlet_ is
favouring them with his views on the histrionic art. In Mr. GILBERT's
skit the leading Player makes a neat retort, and completely shuts
up _Hamlet_,--who, being mad, deserves to be "shut up,"--much to
the delight of King and Court. But, the question remains, why did
SHAKSPEARE ever put this speech to the players in _Hamlet's_ mouth? My
theory is, that he did not want BURBAGE to play the part, but couldn't
help himself, and so, out of pure revenge, he introduced this speech
in which he makes BURBAGE himself condemn all his own faults. Later
on the _Queen_ describes _Hamlet_ as "fat and scant of breath," which
certainly was not the author's ideal Prince of Denmark; and this is
evidently interpolated as "a nasty one" for BURBAGE. At the Court
Theatre the skit is capitally played all round, though I confess I
should have preferred seeing _Hamlet_ made up as a sort of fat and
flabby _Chadband_ puffing and wheezing,--an expression, by the way,
that suggests another excellent performer in this part, namely,
Mr. HERMANN WHEEZIN', who might be induced to appear after a lot of
"puffin'."

[Illustration: An Awful Moment of Suspense. Mlles. May, Christine,
Ellaline, and Decima implore Lord Arthur Grossnez not to throw up the
part. He cannot refuse them; il _n'ose_ pas.]

Finally, _A Pantomime Rehearsal_ is still about the very funniest
thing to be seen in any London Theatre at the present time. The ladies
are, all of them, as the old gentleman in _Pink Dominoes_ used to