!

What's _Orme_ done to you? _'E_ can't 'elp a cove bettin'.
To get at 'im for that is a trifle too warm.
And poisonin' racers ain't _my_ kind o' vettin'.
I likes a good 'orse, so 'ere's 'ealth to old _Orme_.
Take a bolus yourself, it might stop you from roarin';
There's nothin' like tryin' these games on yourself!
And I'll throw BENNY TILLETT and one or two more in,
Just to lay the whole lot o' you up on the shelf.

BEN TILLETT talks big of a mind that's a sewer;
Well, 'e knows what it is, for I'll lay 'e's bin there.
And _you_'d make a 'orse into cat'smeat on skewer.
My eye, but just ain't you a nice-spoken pair!
_I_ ain't goin' to foller you two like a shadder,
Your 'eads is a darned sight too swelled up with brag.
If you don't want to bust and go pop like a bladder,
Why you'd best take my tip--put 'em both in a bag.

So ta-ta, JOHN. I ain't the least wish to offend you,
But plain words to fellers like you is the best.
If they'd give me my way, why I'd jolly soon end you,
Beard, blather and all; you're no more than a pest.
I can fight and take knocks, and I'll stand by my folk, Sir,
I'll 'elp them as 'elps me with whatever I earns;
But I've this for your pipe, if you're wantin' a smoke, Sir,--
I ain't one for poison, nor yet for JOHN BURNS!

* * * * *

"MURDER IN JEST."--Is it not an extraordinary plea on behalf of a
person under sentence of death for murder, that, like IBSEN's heroine,
"she had never been able to take life in earnest?" Surely it should
be added that "when she took somebody else's life she did take it very
much in earnest."

* * * * *

POPULAR SONGS RE-SUNG.

Writing of the brilliant Boanerges of the Liberal Party, the
_Times_ says:--"Sir WILLIAM is the strongest stimulant known to the
Gladstonian wire-pullers, and his appearance is always an indication
that the vital energies of the patient are low. It is well understood
that his proper place is by his own fireside, and that his true
function is to evolve epigrams and construct original systems of
finance in that calm retreat.... But whenever they feel particularly
downcast and unhappy, they break in upon his fecund meditations, and
get him to fire off a roystering speech."

This affectionate and admiring tribute from the Thunderer to its
old favourite contributor "HISTORICUS," is worthy of celebrating