, 'you can't stand on the platform.' 'My
good man,' said JOHN DUKE--you know his silver voice and his bland
manner--'what is a platform for, if not to stand on?' 'Platforms,'
said the Conductor, sententiously, 'are not made to stand on, they are
made to get in on.'"

_Business done_.--Miscellaneous.

* * * * *

ON THE ROW AMONG THE ROMANCERS.

Trust me, scribes who fight and jeer,
From yon blue heavens above us bent,
DICKENS and THACKERAY and SCOTT
Smile at the grumbling Yankee gent.

Howe'er it be, it seems to me
A Novel needs but to be _good_;
Romancer's more than Realist,
And True Love's course than too much "Blood"!

* * * * *

TOO CONSCIENTIOUS.--"As a protest against gambling in connection with
_Orme_," Mr. W. JOHNSTON, M.P., refused to attend a meeting at the
Duke of WESTMINSTER's "for the prevention of the demoralisation of the
uncivilised heathen races." Does Mr. W.J. include the Derby among the
"heathen races" in connection with _Orme_?

* * * * *

QUITE APPROPRIATE.--"Acorse," says ROBERT, "it's the rite thing as
that the Orse Show at Hislington should be honnerd with the pressince
of the LORD MARE."

* * * * *

NOTICE.--Rejected Communications or Contributions, whether MS.,
Printed Matter, Drawings, or Pictures of any description, will in no
case be returned, not even when accompanied by a Stamped and Addressed
Envelope, Cover, or Wrapper. To this rule there will be no exception.

***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI, VOL.
102, MAY 14, 1892***

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