_triumph_ about--he's
tied on like the rest of them, and it must be just as uncomfortable on
the top of that wheel as the bottom.

[_Her Fiance recognises that allegory is thrown away upon
her, and proposes to take her into the Hall and show her Gog
and Magog._

_A Niece_ (_to an Impenetrable Relative--whom she plants, like a heavy
piece of ordnance, in front of a particular canvas_). There, Aunt,
what do you think of _that_ now?

_The Aunt_ (_after solemnly staring at it with a conscientious effort
to take it in._) Well, my dear, I must say it--it's very 'ighly
varnished. [_She is taken home as hopeless._

* * * * *

COURT CARDS.

A splendid hand is just now held by Mr. ARTHUR CHUDLEIGH, Sole Lessee
and Manager of the Court Theatre. Full of trumps, honours and odd
tricks. A perfect entertainment in three pieces. You pay your money
and you take your choice. You can come in at 8:15 and see _The
New Sub_, by SEYMOUR HICKS (Brayvo, 'ICKS! and may your success be
Hickstraordinary!) or at 9:15 for W.S. GILBERT's _Rosencrantz and
Guildenstern_, or at 10 for _A Pantomime Rehearsal_, which, as I
remarked long ago on seeing it for the first time, might last for ever
if only judiciously refreshed, say once in every three months, and on
this plan it might continue until it should be played in 1992 by the
great-great-grandchildren of the members of the present company.

There is one charming line in the bill--a bill which, on account of
its colour, must be "taken as red"--not to be missed by visitors. It
comes immediately after the cast of _The New Sub_; it is this,--"_The
Uniforms by Messrs. Nathan, Coventry Street_." It has a line all
to itself, which is, most appropriately, "a thin red line." Now the
officers in the programme are given as belonging to the "_----shire
Regiment_" i.e., Blankshire Regiment, but as they are all wearing the
Nathan uniform, why not describe them as officers of the Nathanshire
Regiment? Perhaps such a title might be more suggestive of Sheriff's
Officers than of those belonging to Her Majesty's Army; yet, as these
gallant _Dramatis Personae_ are avowedly wearing NATHAN's uniform
(which may they never, never disgrace!) why should they not bear the
proud title of "The First Royal Coventry Street Costumiers"? Let those
most concerned see to it: our advice is gratis, and, at that price,
valuable.

[Illustration: TWO TRUMPS.

Brandon Thomas plays the Ki