er than any other boy. He was kind and faithful to me. He took
my part, fought for me, and pulled the ears of those boys who annoyed
me.

And I was afraid of him because he was big and quarrelsome. He could
beat whom he liked, and when he liked. He was the biggest, oldest, and
wealthiest boy in the "_Cheder_." His father, Mayer "_Polkovoi_," though
he was only a regimental tailor, was nevertheless a rich man, and played
an important part in public affairs. He had a fine house, a seat in the
synagogue beside the ark. At the Passover, his "_Matzo_" was baked
first. At the feast of Tabernacles his citron was the best. On the
Sabbath he always had a poor man to meals. He gave away large sums of
money in charity. And he himself went to the house of another to lend
him money as a favour. He engaged the best teachers for his children. In
a word, Mayer "_Polkovoi_" tried to refine himself--to be a man amongst
men. He wanted to get his name inscribed in the books of the best
society, but did not succeed. In our town, Mazapevka, it was not easy to
get into the best society. We did not forget readily a man's
antecedents. A tailor may try to refine himself for twenty years in
succession, but he will still remain a tailor to us. I do not think
there is a soap in the world that will wash out this stain. How much do
you think Mayer "_Polkovoi_" would have given to have us blot out the
name bestowed upon him, "_Polkovoi_"? His misfortune was that his family
was a thousand times worse than his name. Just imagine! In his passport
he was called Mayor Mofsovitch Heifer.

It is a remarkable thing. May Mayer's great-great-grandfather have a
bright Paradise! He also must have been a tailor. When it came to giving
himself a family name, he could not find a better one than Heifer. He
might have called himself Thimble, Lining, Buttonhole, Bigpatch,
Longfigure. These are not family names either, it is true, but they are
in some way connected with tailoring. But Heifer? What did he like in
the name of Heifer? You may ask why not Goat? Are there not people in
the world called Goat? You may say what you like, Heifer and Goat are
equally nice. Still, they are not the same. A Heifer is not a Goat.

But we will return to my friend Benny.

* * *

Benny was a nice boy, with yellow tousled hair, white puffed-out cheeks,
scattered teeth, and peculiar red, bulging, fishy eyes. These red,
fishy eyes were always smiling and roguish. He had a turned-up no