correspondent: No, _Wild Life_ is not an organ of the
Militants.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Our Futurist Pygmalion (on seeing his Galatea come to
life)._ "OH, WHY DIDN'T I REMAIN AN IDEALIST?"]

* * * * *

THE NEXT OF THE DANDIES.

(_According to our daily paper, sloppy untidiness is to be the fashion
this year._)

I've jibed at Dame Fashion for many a year,
Jibed bitterly rather than gaily;
And over the follies of feminine wear
I indulged in a diatribe daily;
But now I must sing in a different strain
And praise with a penitent vigour
The kindness by which she was moved to ordain
Untidiness strictly _de rigueur_.

Though man from her fetters is commonly loose
(For he has the pluck to withstand her),
I take it that what is correct for the goose
Will not be amiss for the gander;
And I have a suit that for comfort and ease
I'd always elect to be dressed in;
The trousers have dear little bags where my knees
Have made them a corner to nest in.

The sleeves of the coat are all frayed at the end,
The seams of the waistcoat have "started,"
But I have a weakness for elderly friends,
And now we need never be parted;
No more when I wear it shall people esteem
The bardlet in need of compassion;
They'll merely consider him rather extreme
In his fervent devotion to Fashion.

* * * * *

"BOLTON W. 1, MANCHESTER C. 0.
BOLTON WAN. 1, MANCHES. C. 0."

_Sunderland Daily Echo._

It is still a little obscure, but "B. Wanderers 1, M. City 0" would
bring it home to everybody.

* * * * *

THE SPIRIT OF ULSTER AND THE ARMY.

(_An Appeal to Both Parties._)

Still dreaming of the spell of Southern nights,
Strange on my homing senses fall the raucous
Shouts of Democracy, asserting rights
It long ago committed to the caucus;
Strange--in a Chamber run for party ends,
Busy with private rancours, feuds, ambitions--
The legend that the Nation's life depends
Upon her politicians!

Yet two things offer cheer: in Ulster there--
Fanatic sentiment, you'll say, and scoff it--
I see a hundred thousand men who care
For something dearer than their stomach's profit;
Under the Flag they stand at silent pause,
T