allow
his victim, and each time he gave it up; and after the last experiment
Egbert, evidently finding this constant semi-disappearance into the
other's interior bad for his nervous system, conceived the idea of
backing towards the pond instead of heading in that direction, the
process, though slower, being less liable to sudden interruption."

"Well, to make the story short, the oojoobwa followed Egbert to the very
edge of the pond, the picture of perplexity; and when my little friend
finally dived in he lay there with his head over the edge of the bank,
staring into the water for quite ten minutes. Then he turned, shook his
head despairingly, and wriggled into the bushes, still thinking hard.
And a little while later I saw Egbert's head appear cautiously over the
side of the pond, the stick still in his mouth. He looked round to see
that the coast was clear, and then came hopping up to me and laid the
stick at my feet. And, strong man as I was, I broke down and cried like
a child."

* * * * *

From a revue poster at Birmingham:--

"I DO LIKE YOUR EYES
RECORD CAST."

We dislike that kind.

* * * * *

[Illustration: AFTER CLOSING HOURS.

RESTAURANT PROPRIETOR. "ANOTHER OF THESE NIGHT CLUBS! THEY'LL BE THE
RUIN OF ME."]

* * * * *

[Illustration: OUR BOYS.

_Nephew (at preparatory school, to departing uncle)._ "WELL, GOOD-BYE,
UNCLE. AWF'LY GOOD OF YOU TO COME OVER--AND, I SAY, I HOPE YOU BACKED
OUTRAM FOR THE LINCOLNSHIRE?"

_Uncle._ "UNFORTUNATELY, MY BOY, I WASN'T ON IT."

_Nephew._ "YOU WEREN'T? WHY, WE WERE ALL ON IT HERE!"]

* * * * *

A PEACE-PRESERVATION ACT.

Whereas _Mr. Punch_ has observed to his deep grief and chagrin that
political ill-feeling in Great Britain has increased, is increasing and
ought to be diminished, be it enacted--

(1) That no morning, evening or weekly paper be allowed to print
anything on its placard save one of these three phrases: "All the
Winners," "Tips for To-day," or "Latest Football"; providing that
nothing in this Act shall prevent _The Daily News and Leader_ from
substituting "Latest Free Church News" for "Tips for To-day."

(2) That no newspaper be allowed to announce more than one political
crisis per week under a penalty of L1,000 for each and every subsequent
crisis announced.

(3) That Mr. T. P. O'CONNOR be appointed gra