nd political censor, and
that all descriptive expressions intended to be applied by people to
their political opponents be submitted to him, to ensure that such
phrases are properly saponaceous.

(4) That six prominent fire-brands in each Party be deported to Saint
Helena, and that they be chosen by ballot in this wise--the Liberals
will select the Tories, the Tories the Liberals, the O'Brienites the
Nationalists, and the Nationalists the O'Brienites. The Labour Party,
being specially qualified for the task, will select six of its own body
for deportation; and nothing in this Act is to hinder Mr. WEDGWOOD from
deporting himself if he thinks it needful.

(5) And whereas many highly respectable golfers of all shades of
political opinion have been put off their game by political happenings
at the week-end be it ordained that a gracious political truce reign
from Thursday midnight to Tuesday midday, and that during that time, to
be known as the Truce of _Mr. Punch_, no political crises, resignations,
refusals of resignations, re-resignations or snap-divisions be allowed
on any pretext whatever.

* * * * *

"Yesterday afternoon a Cardiff prisoner who had been arrested on a
warrant escaped from the custody of a police officer. The man
bolted without the slightest warning."

_Western Daily Press._

He was no gentleman. He might at least have said, "One, two, three--Go!"

* * * * *

THE OLDEST OF THE ARTS.

[Speaking at the annual meeting of the governing body of Swanley
Horticultural College, Sir JOHN COCKBURN lamented that while that
institution provided healthful and delightful occupation, for which
women were eminently fitted, it suffered from a continuous epidemic
of matrimony, not only among the students but even upon the staff.]

AT Swanley College down in Kent
The students' time is not misspent.
Some of the arts at any rate
Thrive in this Eden up-to-date;
And doubtless each girl-gard'ner tries
To win the term's Top-dressing Prize,
Or trains her sense of paradox
(While gathering "nuts" and "plums" and stocks)
By taking Flora's new degree--
"Spinster of Hearts and Husbandry."

* * * * *

"First he must learn to be a sailor.... Stepping in a small
coasting craft, he put his shoulder to the wheel, determining, as
ma