ny a boy has done before and since, to get to the top of the tree
by plodding and perseverance."

_Ashore and Afloat._

We don't recommend this as a beginning, however. Very often the captain,
who wants to steer himself, resents an additional shoulder at the
wheel--and invites you to the top of the masthead.

* * * * *

[Illustration: MORE BRAINY IDEAS OF OUR DRAPERS.

CUSTOMER BEING CONDUCTED TO THE SPRING MILLINERY DEPARTMENT.]

* * * * *

THE MOON.

[_IMPOSSIBLE PLAY SERIES._]

A SUPER-PSYCHOLOGICAL DRAMA IN ONE ACT.

_Persons of the Play._

Lord Gumthorpe.
Lady Gastwyck.
Angela Thynne.
Stud, _a butler_.

[_Author to Printer._--Oblige me by reversing your usual practice, and
printing the text in italics and the stage directions in roman type. My
request will, I hope, prove intelligible.]

_Scene._--The drawing-room at _Lady Gastwyck's_. A large, low room with
a mullioned window at the back through which moonlight steals. The
decoration of the room is Adams', though of rather a self-conscious
type, as the plan and construction of the house is obviously of an
earlier period. The furniture is Chinese Chippendale.

_Lord Gumthorpe_ is leaning against the window; _Angela Thynne_ is
leaning against the Chesterfield, and _Lady Gastwyck_ is leaning against
the Adams' fireplace. _Lord Gumthorpe_ is a tall, gaunt man, slightly
resembling the portrait of PHILIP IV. of Spain, by VELASQUEZ. He turns
towards _Lady Gastwyck_ and waves his long arms with a gesture of
indecision. He then turns back and looks out on to the lawn. _Angela
Thynne_, is a large, ill-proportioned woman, with curiously limpid blue
eyes, and a shrill hard voice like a fog-siren, that does not seem to
belong to her personality. One is always haunted with the idea that she
might be Scotch. _Lady Gastwyck_ rises. She is a short dark woman with
deep-set eyes and one very remarkable characteristic. She has apparently
only one eyebrow. She really has two, but they meet together in one dark
straight line, and give her a forbidding aspect. She has a habit of
walking with her chin thrust forward and her long arms curved like a
boxer's. She advances upon _Lord Gumthorpe_. He instinctively puts up
his hands as though expecting to be struck.

LADY GASTWYCK. _You think then that we--that is, that you and I----_

[She waves her hand towards the moonlit lawn. It might be